Old Photo Friday: If the girl in this photo could talk...

If the girl in this photo could talk, she would tell you all about her Senior Year:

1989...Big hair, loud music, loads of friends, thoughts of graduation and the coming freedom, Senior English class, a term paper, "Will she pass math?," pep rallies, football Friday nights, sorority sisters, club meetings, community volunteering, loitering in parking lots, Don't worry...Be Happy, hanging out at the Loft, riding with her friend in the old VW, driving like maniacs, hanging out of the window to feel the cool air, listening to live local music, falling in love, feeling exhilaration at the slightest thing...

An unplanned pregnancy, petitioning the board to see if she could stay at school, first pregnant girl in school, maternity clothes rather than the uniform, stares and whispers, doctor's visits, telling her father, feeling like a disappointment, upsetting her oldest brother, who could not have children and had such high hopes for her, not comprehending the emotional and hormonal changes going on, a lifetime of tears in several months, eating for two, learning more and more about the father of her baby, and falling more in love with him each day, drowning in the deep brown pools of his eyes, a "B" on the term paper titled "The Sexual Revolution" (she wrote about what she knew...), surprise baby shower from the girls in her senior class, anticipating the arrival of a new life, a new little person to love, breastfeeding classes and lamaze, not fitting in the desks anymore at school, taking finals at home, not attending prom OR graduation, all of her friends going seperate ways, a rocking chair for a graduation gift, laboring through a 6 1/2 hour delivery, meeting her daughter for the very first time...a changed life.

She would tell you that this was THE BEST YEAR in her life because of what joy it brought...she would laugh and cry at the memory of all of this...she would tell you she still feels stings of shame at how public her mistakes had been, for all the world to see, comment on, and judge...she would say she would NOT CHANGE A THING. She would welcome questions and comments now...She would thank you for allowing her to share such a story!

I know she would tell you all of this, because the girl in that photo is me.

Old Photo Friday: The Cadence of Us

(Circa 1980 something)

19 years we have shared together...and more to come.

This man is amazing. He does the laundry, even the ironing. He puts up with all of my crap, my issues, my enormous rear end, and so rarely complains. He makes me laugh. He supports me when I cry. He loves me unconditionally, in spite of so much. He works harder than anyone I know. He has so many talents that make me proud.

When I look at this old photo, my favorite from around the time when we first met, I see our carefree days of youth when we only thought things were complicated. Back then, the biggest thing we really had to face was an unplanned pregnancy...that turned out to be our greatest gift! Life was so much easier back then...little did we know!

God has blessed us with so much, and I realize daily that I do not deserve any of it. The blood of Jesus covers me...I am whole and forgiven because of it, but I sometimes struggle with the realization that God loves me that much!

This man, the one that I love, in the last three years has endured unbelievable things... a heart surgery for an extemely rare condition, brain surgery to remove a softball size tumor, a second surgery nine months later to remove the golf ball size tumor that grew back in the same place. Through all of this, this man has remained strong, confident, capable, filled with faith and love. He is my miracle. I love him more than I could ever fully express.

This past summer, while working on my master's degree, in my poetry class, I wrote a poem for this man. I will share it with you as a lame attempt for you to catch a glimpse of how much I love and appeciate what we have.

The Cadence of Us
For A.

Your hand brushes against my bare shoulder
Skee be de bop
I feel your fingers playing on the base of my neck
Shoo be do bee
Your embrace is electric
Skee be de bop bop bop
I lean in closer
Shoo be do bee wop bop
Your hand guides my chin up close to yours
Skee be de bop bop bop oodlee aw wop
Our eager lips meet
Shoo be do bee wop bop bop oodlee oodlee
Ah!
July 2007

I hope you are able to snuggle up with a special someone this weekend and make some jazz!