The Passing of Time

Attended my nephew's high school graduation this evening.
Wondered where all of these years have gone...how did they go by so very fast?
Is it really possiible that he could be eighteen, a high school graduate, and ready for the world?
It was almost more than I could bear.

I held him as a tiny baby...changed his diapers...rocked him to sleep on more than several occasions. My brother and the nephew's mother divorced when the nephew was a boy. His mother moved to another city (not terribly far away, but not here) and we do not see him as much as I would like. I suppose some of that is my own fault. I could have asked to get him for a weekend or such.

I remembered so much this evening as I sat waiting to hear his name...waiting for him to walk across the stage and get his diploma...I remembered his little boy grin, his curly locks, his arm around my daughter's shoulders..."Cousins," they would say. When most people yelled and shouted for joy this evening, I felt my eyes well up with tears...

The passage of time is such a bittersweet thing.

Jack Martin, I am so very proud of you, and I love you more than I can say. You made it!
"Let your soul shine,
It's better than sunshine,
It's better than moonshine
Damn sure better than rain...
Gotta let your soul shine,
shine 'til the break of day..."

Summer, Smiles, and Sprinkles

School is out. Summer has begun.

Relaxation...it's what I have been looking for for awhile now...after such a long hard school year- one of the worst in my teaching career- all I want to do is nothing.

Over the last few weeks when school was the hardest, the daughter helped me find ways to make it through...we went to the park on several occasions to nap on a picnic blanket, play in the water, and blow these humongous bubbles...

Then of course, we all celebrated my parents' 50th wedding anniversary! What an amazing weekend...we spent it in North Carolina with family...and a fabulous meal at this place called the Gateway Club. It is a restaurant housed in a historical building that has been restored with state of the art amenities while holding on to the traditions of the past...simply amazing. My brother and sister-in-law did an anniversary video that brought us all to tears. We are blessed to have THE best parents in the world...I couldn't have chosen better parents myself.

Also, the daughter and I have been in the kitchen making all sorts of fun things...like these graduation pops for a friend of hers. We found them on one of my favorite blogs, Bakerella. Of course Bakerella's look perfect, and we were a little messy, but the effect was the same.

We have also been making....soft serve ice cream with mix-ins like sprinkles. That's enough to make anyone smile! The husband purchased this machine because sprinkles are the daughter's favorite thing and we love ice cream at our house...and last night we tried it for the first time. Peanut butter ice cream with rainbow candy coated chocolate sprinkles. I was so excited, I forgot to get a shot of the actual ice cream. Trust me, we had some, and it was yummy. What says summer better than ice cream?

I have several more days of work ahead of me, even though the school year is officially over. I am also teaching a class for teachers soon, so the summer is looking further and further away. I am trying to do little things to help remind me that it IS really summer. How about you? What fun summer things have you been doing?

Broken and Empty

I have this picture of something in my mind lately that looks like a broken and empty vessel...like a tea pot or pitcher that has been accidentally dropped on the floor....pieces scattered and that feeling that you might have just after it drops...

My Mother

She is a presence.

This woman.

I adore her.

She has a spirit that I can not even find words to express.

She has spent her life as a "housewife" (her words when anyone asks her what she does for a living) giving her all to her family...sacrificing her own needs for us on a daily basis. Still.
She grew up with a loving mother and a not-so-loving father. She smiled in spite of it all. Her heart is so open, so loving, so honest...

This became so much clearer to me on the day that my own daughter was born. My mother told me that day that the years would fly by as they had with her own children...that I needed to savor each moment as a mother. Boy, was she ever right! I wonder so often where the last nineteen years have gone. She loves so strongly, so forcefully that sometimes it almost smothers, but I would not have it any other way.

She enjoyed the life of a stay-at-home mom...cooking, cleaning, taking care of everything...those were her loves...she did each chore with such love, such dedication. I feel some days that I am nothing like her; I choose to work...most of my time is spent being too busy to care about the things she loves so much. In recent years, I have come to understand that though we chose different paths, we are still very much alike. I have come to cherish that.

She lives life to the fullest every single day. She has survived much in her life- a rough relationship with her father, loss, teenage pregnancy by her daughter, cancer, financial difficulties...She handles everything with faith and grace. This woman. My mother.

I hope mothers everywhere enjoy this day...have a happy one. I am going to go spend some time with this woman...to try and tell her again how much she means to me.