Returning...to peace

Just returned from the hospital...a late night visit with the daughter after an all day / night visit.
I am completely wired.
I should be sleeping...
Neither one of us got much sleep last night when I spent the night with her there.
I am going to work in a few short hours.


As I drove home on the empty streets between the hospital and our home, I felt this overwhelming sense of peace, a familiar feeling kind of. If you know me at all, you would know that typically, I am someone who worries about everything. (I get that honest, from my mother.)

But over the last several years, God has NOT abandoned me even though He should have.
My husband has been through major heart surgery for a rare heart condition, surgery to remove a benign brain tumor, and another surgery less than a year later to remove another benign brain tumor in almost exactly the same spot. Through it all, I felt the prayers of our friends and family surround me like the very arms of my God Himself...(I had only one tiny breakdown thankfully with Sallee, my very best friend in the whole wide world, who knew just what to do) but through it all, I felt an almost eerie sense of peace...I've heard it spoken of- that peace that passes all understanding. I felt it. I did not worry. I rested in the fact that I KNEW God was taking care of us, of my husband, and He would not let anything happen to him. It perplexed me like nothing else...to see, no to feel, prayers working so strongly...it was such an overhwelming experience.

However, I am not a faithful daughter. I rarely go to church. If I am honest, I never read the Bible. I have long abandoned listening to Christian music for the most part. I pray, but sporadically at best. I claim to be His child...but I know I would never be so distant with my earthly father. Why is He so faithful to me? I do have a heart that longs for Him. I am His daughter, but I allow the things of this world to busy my head and my heart.

Still, like tonight, on the silent, empty streets on my way home to an empty house...He is with me. He is with my child...protecting her and her unborn baby, Eli.

Precious, Holy Father,
Forgive me.
Know the cries of my heart...how I long to be close to you.
Know that I believe with all of my heart in You and thank You for Your mercy, grace, forgiveness, and love.
Thank you for the debt You paid for MY sins...so that I could be clean and free.
I know I do not deserve it, but still You are faithful.
PLEASE be with Aubrey and Eli. Protect them and keep them safe.
Thank you for sending me family and friends that know You, that pray for us...
Thank you for this peace.
Amen.

4 generations

The daughter is in the hospital; she's been there a full 24 hours so far- she has PIH= Pregnancy Induced Hypertension (they are testing to see if it is preeclampsia).
Eli is not supposed to come until the C-section on Jan. 29, but that may change...we will see what the doctors say tomorrow. They are monitoring her and running several tests. Several nurses have said that she might not be able to leave until after he is born. Oh goodness! (and she has a baby shower on Sunday.)

I took the day off to be with her today.
As I sat there today at one point, I thought how lucky Eli will be to know his grammy (me) and his great-nana (my mom)- there will be 4 generations soon!

I have a few vivid memories of my great-grandmother. We called her Granny Bell (her name was Annabelle), and she was SO tall; she wore a size 13 shoe, and was terribly afraid of her mailman. She had a red-headed baby boy doll with red felt overalls that she let me play with...I loved playing with the brass mail slot in her front door, and she would tell me to come away from there because the mailman would come soon. I am not sure what she had against the mailman, but I have such clear memories of her and her house even though I had to be younger than 5 years old. She died sometime after that, I think.

I hope Eli will know and love his great-grandparents...I know he will.
I guess I just realized today how special it is that he will be coming into an extended family that completely loves him already, and is anxiously awaiting his arrival!

Hope your week is a good one!

Looking Forward

Eli's coming...
January 29, 2010!

May Your Days Be Merry

Grammy and Pops, as we will be called soon...very, very soon!

The daughter and the great-grandparents...(and Baby Eli who is loved so much already!)

Merry Christmas from our family to yours!

I pray that this day finds you in good health, with love and laughter surrounding you.

May you know Jesus, as we celebrate His birth and His grace and mercy on us all...

It's a Wonderful Life!

Jimmy Stewart, I agree...it IS a wonderful life!

"What is it you want, Mary? What do you want? You want the moon? Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. Hey. That's a pretty good idea. I'll give you the moon, Mary."

Sorry...the daughter and I just watched that film last evening, and I couldn't help myself.

George Bailey gets me every time. It really is a wonderful life...

Whew! What a week...what a wonderful week.

Last weekend, I took Friday off from work and the daughter and I attended such a beautiful wedding in Savannah, Georgia. The bride, my second cousin, and the groom were married just a few feet from where the daughter stands in the above photo in Forsyth Fountain Park. There was a miraculous change in weather from the dreary, stormy rehearsal dinner evening the night before. By noon on the wedding day, the weather was absolutely perfect- chilly, crisp, hint of sunshine, dry, and simply perfect. Because I have such a crappy camera, I do not have photos that would do justice to how lovely this wedding really was. Click here if you'd like to see what the professional photographers did with this glorious wedding! The reception (and next day's Sunday brunch) took place at the Mansion on Forsyth Park. We were amazed! A beautiful beginning for the precious new couple.

After the fabulous weekend, I was off from work again on Monday...to do something purely for myself. I have not been that excited (or nervous) in quite awhile. The daughter was to be my right hand girl for the day- driver, photographer, entertainment, you name it...she was it! She was the perfect companion on a day long excursion to the big city of Atlanta to see one of my favorite bloggers, PW.

We left kind of early- after two doctor visits, gas station, and bank visits, we finally pulled into the parking lot of Borders around 2:00 or so. PW was set to arrive at 6:00...just a few hours to kill. We managed to find a few things to do...like take goofy photos of each other while we were waiting:
Lovely huge grin, nice double chin. I look like I really need a cook book, don't I? One too many of PW's butter filled, luscious concoctions...yep...you're right! After the grandson is born in February, I need to put away that sinful book, and eat some salad.
This is just how the daughter looked most of the day...SO pregnant, swollen feet, and an aching back...thank goodness, we spotted such comfy chairs. Because we had the foresight to arrive early (Thank you, PW, for such vivid details of all of your book signings and the huge crowds!) we got orange arm bands (the first color of the evening!) group F (the sixth group of the first color!) and we really did not have to wait that long.

Sometime earlier in the day, I forgot to say that we traveled across the street to do a bit of shopping at the Target...the daughter's god mother was paying for the stroller from her baby shower registry, but she was having a hard time finding it at home. So, we made the trek (risking the loss of a comfy spot to sit in Borders) walking across the street (we did not want to lose our parking space) to look for the stroller. Low and behold we found it, and the scooter the godmother also asked us to get for her son for Christmas...Just so you know these were THE most enormous boxes I have ever seen and we were without the car! Um...what to do?!

I made the very pregnant daughter stay with the purchases, and I hiked up the hill, across the highway, I mean street, and through the parking lot to the car...praying the whole way that someone did not hurt my baby and steal the huge boxes from her (not paranoid at all, I tell you). I drove back over to Target, and we proceeded to work tirelessly to get these monstrocities into the car / trunk. Even though it was nice and chilly...I kept thinking, "This is just what I need...to get all sweaty just before I meet PW!"
Finally, we get it done, and we are back in place at Borders...waiting some more.

Eventually, PW arrives...we can tell by the screams, the applause, and the scramble of people to get over to where she is...(our strategically placed comfy chairs are just behind the screen where she is signing, and I can not force the daughter, with her swollen pregnant feet, to give them up just to go see and stand some more...so we sit and listen). They call orange A-C to come and line up. (Thank you, Borders, for having this so wonderfully well organized!) Periodically, I would panic that maybe I had not heard the nice man call my letter, F, and I would ask the daughter if she thought we should give up the chairs to go and see. She was steadfast...we would not! They had not called anything but A-C. This happened several times, and anyone else would have left me stranded in the Borders and driven home to peace and quiet...but not the daughter! She was the perfect, patient, and wonderfully calm companion. She even allowed me to whine a bit...worrying about what I would say to PW, how sweaty I might be by that time, and when they were gonna get to letter F. (Sometimes, I am the daughter and she is the mother.)


They say pregnant women are sometimes moody (I would never day that, nope, not me)...not the daughter...not this day! She was the picture of patience.


Finally, they called D, E, and....F! We went to line up, and the line snaked through the rows of books until it got to the Borders screen where PW was sitting.


Note: Now, let me just say that I have read many accounts on PW's blog of all sort of her fans and what it was like for them as they waited to have a moment with her. They ALL mention the wonderful conversations between virtual strangers in line...laughing, talking, taking photos of one another, making friends...etc. The daughter and I must be THE most anti-social people in the world...we barely spoke to anyone except each other. But that's ok...we're just SHY. Yeah, that's it...SHY.

Here it is...the moment I was waiting for!

I am sure you are wondering what wonderfully brilliant thing I finally decided to say to her.
Well....
I am fairly certain that I said something about my quivery lips...trying to smile for this photo. She was too sweet...she said the same thing was happening to her because she was nervous. After that, I can not be sure what I said...something about being sweaty...(sweaty...really?!) I am pretty sure. Nice. Classy. It went by really fast, and then we were over at the next table meeting Betsy (her sister) and Hyacinth (her friend). Shockingly fast...and then in less than two hours from the time PW arrived, the daughter and I were released into the cold Atlanta night air...on our way home.

A funny note...when we arrived home, I thought certainly that the daughter would collapse and be completely ready for bed...not exactly. While I was checking my email and preparing for the next work day after being out two days, I heard this hammering sound...

She just couldn't wait to put her precious stroller together! She did it all by herself! Just adorable...little mama and her boy's little hoot stroller.

That was one week ago this evening.
Time flies...really...in this wonderful life, it does.
I am thankful for so much- having the opportunity to take off from work when I need to, having a precious daughter who loves me in spite of so much, who is willing to endure my endless whining and spends time with me, having the chance to meet PW, a blogger that I simply adore...it doesn't get much better!
Here's hoping that you take the time to do something fun for yourself and that you are able to see what a wonderful life this actually is!
Have a great week...

Atlanta Eve

Well, it feels a little like Christmas Eve kinda.

I am on the verge of doing something so fun, I can barely stand it.

Tomorrow, the daughter and I are heading to Atlanta to meet one of my very favorite bloggers, Pioneer Woman, Ree Drummond. It's ok that she's not signing her book until later in the evening...I took the whole day off from work just in case! Several important errands have come up since then, so I sure am glad I did. After a few pit stops, we'll be on our way to Atlanta to plant ourselves at the Borders. I have been looking forward to this for months, ever since I saw Atlanta pop up on her book signing tour. I have a little confession of my own though...

I am getting a tad bit nervous. Is that normal? Shouldn't she be the nervous one? She has done this so often by now, she couldn't possibly be nervous! If you know me at all, you are not surprised that I'd be the nervous one...What will I wear? What will I say? What if I embarrass myself? What will I say? What if I ramble on like I usually do? What if we do not make it in time? What will I say? What if we stand in line forever...will I make it back home in time for a good night's sleep? What will I wear? What will I say?

In case you can't tell, I have a mild case of social anxiety...I am bringing the daughter along for several reasons. First, she's the love of my life, and I can not think of anyone with whom I'd rather share my day. Also, because she is my filter...she'll (hopefully) stop me from saying wildly inappropriate things that are just unnecessary. Next, because I can NOT drive in Atlanta. She will be my chauffeur. Finally, because she just SO MUCH FUN. It will be with her that I laugh until I almost wet my pants and seriously need an oxygen tank just to breathe from laughing so hard. She's my baby girl who is expecting a baby herself soon, and I am not sure how many more mother - daughter days we'll have...so the daughter and I will most certainly have a few funny stories when we return. I can't wait to share them with you.

Hope your week starts off with loads of smiles and fun!

Dreaming of a White Christmas

In honor of the fact that the first day of December is minutes away, and the fact that I have posted only once in November, I thought I would share a few minutes of fun. This absolutely lovely place is called "The Hide-Away" by all who know it...it is nestled at the top of a mountain in North Carolina. This view is from the amazing deck down the drive way. If you look to your right, this is what you see. It feels as though you must be the only one in the universe, and as you breathe in the crisp mountain air, the stress disappears little by little. This precious place is owned by my dear cousins, E and J, and we had the honor of visiting here in October for their daughter's bridal shower party. What fun! More fun even was what happened as we were there:

I was completely surprised...that just does not happen in Georgia in October! But the first North Carolina snowfall has left me wanting more...

We will be with these fabulous family members this weekend to attend the wedding in Savannah, one of my favorite cities in my state. I am sure I will have plenty to share.

Have a wonderful week...may you be blessed and feel the surprises of this holiday season each and every day!