Sometimes late in the summer I have bouts of insomnia...usually it is because I start having massive anxitety about school starting again. When I am able to actually fall off into dreamland, I have nightmares about showing up for school on the first day in my pajamas, without shoes, in the most God-awful clothes or that I have forgotten completely how to teach...
Well, in case you do not have a calendar handy or you just woke up from a coma, it is not the end of the summer. My summer JUST began. And I can not sleep.
First, I should confess how much I LOVE to sleep. When I was pregnant with our daughter, the husband (who was then the boyfriend) would often say, "Are you sure you are ok? I have NEVER met anyone who could sleep as much as you do..." When I was a young child, my mother would put me to bed so early that the sun had not gone down, and I would exclaim, "But I still hear kids playing outside!" She would pull the room darkening shades down, tell me a story, and allow me to drift off into dreamland, because she KNEW without a FULL night's sleep, I was a total grump! On the other hand, in my college days, I could totally pull off all nighters...remember I was a new mother, married, and living in my parent's home back in those days. Staying up all hours of the night was expected with a new baby and school work! Even later, when we moved into our first home, I spent MANY nights up into the wee hours of the morning writting papers and reading class assigned literature. Somehow, my body, the older I have gotten, just can NOT do this anymore. It's like I hit some magic age and I literally start yawning at 11:00. This last year, I made it to bed earlier and earlier every night...and just LOVED it. I adore my luxurious 800 thread count sheets, my comfy mattresses, snuggling with my husband and our cats...I crave our bed when I have been out of it for too long. Often on Saturday mornings, if I have nothing particular planned and if the phone does not ring and if everyone leaves me alone, I will sleep ALL afternoon. No joke. Sad, but selfishly true.
So, all of this being said...I can not sleep.
Today is Saturday. I have nothing particular to do today. My husband is at work. My daughter is asleep. The phone has not rung, and yet I am AWAKE. I have been awake since 8:30 am. Before that, I was awake when the husband's alarm clock went off at 5:15 am. Before that I had just come to bed at 2:30...This is how last night went for me:
12:00 mindnight- the husband kisses me good night.
1:18- I am reading blogs, trying to get sleepy. I still feel WIDE AWAKE.
(by the way, if you have not done so, check out The Pioneer Woman. I found her on someone else's blog, and she is a HOOT! I read her entire story of how she met Marlboro Man. It will make you swoon...)
2:30- I decide this is ridiculous. If I just go on in and get into bed, sleep WILL come.
2:37- I notice that the neighbor's dogs are barking AGAIN.
(now, I am a pet LOVER; I have five cats. But they do NOT bark. They have five dogs. And they bark! Every single night. One of them starts barking, and then it turns into sort of a howl. Our bedroom, unfortunately for me, is on the side of the house that is closest to the area where the dogs are. The husband is a bit deaf; he wears two hearing aids- from YEARS of damage from being a musician in a band- he does not wear said hearing aids to sleep; he can NOT hear the dogs. They only disturb ME.)
2:45- dogs are still barking...I am still awake. I have begun to toss and turn.
2:53- I must be sort of asleep, because I do not really hear the dogs anymore, but I do hear this tiny whistle sound...it is MY NOSE....like I am having some sinus issue and can not fully breathe out of my right nostril. I get up. I blow my nose, and blow my nose...trying to make the whistle stop!
3:17- I am begging God at this point to help me sleep...it must work for an hour or so.
5:00- For some reason, my eyes fling open, and I think, "his alarm will go off in a few minutes..."
5:15- The alarm goes off...he gets up, and gets ready for work. The dogs are barking again.
6:15-The husband comes to kiss me goodbye; he is leaving for work.
And then from 6:15 until 8:30 or so, BLISS! I must have slept...I did not recall it, so I must not have enjoyed it. And now I am AWAKE again.
This is very similar to how my last SEVERAL nights have gone...I do try to read different things to help sleep come- a mystery that my mom gave me (I finished it in one night) a school related book about pedagogy (would usually put anyone to sleep! not me), so last night, I tried reading blogs. No such luck. Any ideas? Any suggestions?? This is far too early in my summer to start having this problem. I NEED to sleep.
I am holding onto hope that when my family and I go to the beach- that wonderul place that I LOVE more than anywhere in the world- I will be so at peace and relaxed, I will be able to sleep. We leave on Father's Day! Here's hoping...
I hope your weekend is filled with bliss and epecially SLEEP!
Image credit.
P.S. I am going to read the article related to this image...it is about sleep disorders and allergies. hummm...very interesting!
