Magallano Mournings

Heaven

2010-12-08T23:31:00.002-05:00

It is heaven having a baby in our house.
He is beyond words.
He has grown so fast, even faster than I realized.
Where has this little angelic infant gone in such a short time?!
He is a rumbling, tumbling ball of energy...all smiles and laughter.
What love I feel...almost exploding!

Back to School

2010-08-16T21:13:00.005-04:00

Have you ever felt like this?

I sure have! Especially lately with my typical back to school blues. (In fact, I am pretty sure Elijah learned that pouty face from me...or maybe his mama- haha.) Anyway, we are back in school full swing. Today was the beginning of our third week of school, and for me things are still not settled. This is the time of the year that I dislike most...new kids, new schedules (one can hope), new teachers, new administration (this year again)...the newness feels disconcerting to me, and I struggle to get organized, to regain the momentum of last year, and to form a bond with a whole new group of middle school children, who normally rebell against that whole bonding thing. I am SERIOUSLY back at work here, folks!

I will say that this sweet face, waiting for me when I arrive home...it takes away ALL of the frustration, the anxiety, the worries, the stress...it just DISAPPEARS completely when I see things like this:

Baby updates: He says mama. He sits up by himself. He is 7 months old this week. He has three teeth on the bottom in the front and two more coming in on the top. He smiles at anyone and everything. He is THE happiest boy I know. I am THE proudest grammy on earth.

Here's hoping something sweet will make you smile this week!

Getting all Gershwin

2010-07-10T22:43:00.004-04:00

"...Summertime, and the livin' is easy

Fish are jumpin' and the cotton is high

Your daddy's rich and your mamma's good lookin'

So hush little baby

Don't you cry..."

Loving the little bit of summer that I do get to have with this precious little man.
Oh the adventures...and the easy days filled with such joy...smiles, laughter, and a love that makes me think my heart might actually burst...he's the sweetest boy around!

Far Too Long

2010-06-06T16:40:00.005-04:00

Far too long since I've posted...I couldn't even remember how to log in! haha

Far too long since I've felt the waves crash at my feet and felt the tug of the wet sucking sand...

Not really, I suppose...but it feels like too long. These photos are from Baby Boy's first trip to the beach. The daughter felt sorry for me since I am having to work through family vacation #1 (our yearly trip to Myrtle Beach), and though I've missed it before, this would have been Baby Boy's first beach trip. When I realized it and felt like crying, she suggested a day trip- just the three of us! What fun! He was so serious about it all...the sand, the sun, all of the sounds. Just too sweet. He's growing much too fast for us all. Four months old, two teeth, and at the last doctor's visit, fourteen pounds. Whew! It all happens so fast! Since these photos were taken, he has been swimming three times and LOVES the water. I am so glad; his mother sure was a water baby!

Lots of new photos thanks to the daughter's fabulous 21st birthday gift (Canon Rebel Ti) and more stories of summer to come. Gotta get back to work. Hope you find something refreshing to do this week!

Three Months and 21 years

2010-04-18T10:44:00.006-04:00

Just three mere months ago, I didn't yet know this amazing boy. My heart hadn't yet realized how much it would be consumed with every yawn, sneeze, gurgle, bubble, or tender-headed kiss. In these months that have flown by, the love has not only blossomed, it has gotten more and more fierce with each passing second! I had no idea that humans could love so intensely. It's just like I felt with the daughter, only times two and somehow different. We could (and do) spend hours looking at his fingers and toes, listening to him try to laugh, and wondering what he will be like as he is older...we'll know soon enough, as time passes all too quickly. Happy 3 months, precious elijah graham.

Dessert first! In honor of one of the daughter's friend's 21st birthday, we made these adorable cupcakes from Bakerella. I couldn't believe how really simple they were, and just too cute!
Happy 21st Angelina Ballerina!

Next, in honor of the daughter's new apron, we decided to make a yummy pasta dinner from one of PW's recipes...this is one I printed off many, many months ago, and just got around to making it. Really yummy if we do do say so ourselves. A nice ending to a lazy Saturday and a really rough week!

She's learning how to multi-task like all moms do! Baby E. is not exactly crying, but wanting more of his mommy's attention like all babies do. I can not say how interesting it is to watch the daughter mother a son...it warms my heart, makes me laugh, and surprises me at each and every turn. Being a grammy is THE best job in the world!

Ahhhh.

Hoping you have been able to enjoy something refreshing this weekend...family, food, or something fun! Have a wonderful week.

What Keeps Me Going

2010-04-07T18:59:00.001-04:00

Is it summer yet?

Procrastination 101

2010-03-10T21:19:00.005-05:00

Grades are due tonight...by midnight...

I am getting there.

It is now 9:19 PM.

The lovely daughter and I have been working on them in between making dinner, eating dinner, feeding the baby, and answering the random cell phones calls / texts. She went off to visit friends for a few hours, and now I am left to my own devices. I am no better than my middle schoolers. What do I do the first chance I get?

Read a few email messages, check a few new posts on other people's blogs, and decide that it's been SO long since I posted...I just have to write a little something quick and post a few new baby photos. Ha.

I am the queen of distraction.

Hey...is that the baby crying? Yep. He's calling for grammy. Gotta go...give some lovin'!

Grades? What grades?

Two Weeks

2010-02-01T16:47:00.004-05:00

This baby boy is two weeks old today.
His grammy had to go back to work.

Believe me when I tell you that this was THE hardest thing I have ever had to do concerning my job...exchange this boy for stinky middle schoolers. Whew. What a day. After being out for two weeks, my room looked like a tornado went through it. I am not sure I will ever find all of my books to return to my personal book shelves. I really could not believe my eyes when I walked in this morning. It will take me the rest of the week to regain control over it all.

Thinking of this baby boy made me want to just take my purse and run.
I didn't, but I wanted to!

No matter what, he was so worth it all!

The Book of Eli: Part 1

2010-01-25T23:53:00.003-05:00

My heart is fillled to bursting...I never imagined I could feel so much love for someone...and along came Elijah Graham.

Chapter 1

Birth.

January 18, 2010 8:15 am
Eli is born.

Immediately, I fell in love with his lips...for the daughter, it was his ears.

The daughter's surgery went well, and I was honored (and somewhat stunned) to be right there with her as her support person. Never in my life have I seen such sights...the insision, the blood, the not so gentle pulling and tugging, her insides, a patch of the boy's black hair...and then there was Eli in my arms (after a brief bit of screaming in another room...a temporary clean up, suctioning, and then into Grammy's arms!)

Chapter 2

Recovery.

The daughter was in recovery for awhile before she could officially meet her son. In the meantime, the OR staff whisked me away to watch him get weighed ( 6 pounds, 10 ounces), measured (19 1/2 inches long), bathed, and dressed by the nurses in the baby nursery. Finally, the moment came when the daughter could meet Eli. She was so tired and still hooked up to an IV which made it difficult for her to use both arms. She also had 24 hours worth of something called a magnesium drip for patients who have had pre-eclampsia so they will not have seizures. Nice. No worries at all. It made her feel groggy and, for lack of a better description, heavy-limbed. Eli spent the entire night with us, and I was all to happy to take care of him. The daughter is breastfeeding, and obviously she needed help at this point.

Chapter 3

The real room!

After her 24 hour medicine drip and monitoring, they finally moved the daughter to a regular birthing room- very nice "suite" with lots of hard wood floors, pretty decor, and not so comfy furniture. So much happened in Room 340...bonding, feeding, snuggling, hugging, kissing, and gushing over all of the perfect baby parts that Eli has, taking photos, continuing recovery for the daughter, and visiting with the 3 visitors that were allowed to visit (the hospital has very strict visitation rules since November 2009 for pregnant patients, new moms and newborn babies...only 2 support people and the grandparents are allowed- that's it! Apparently, great-grandparents don't need to be on that list, much to my father's dismay!) We were in Room 340 for the rest of the hospital visit- from Tuesday through Thursday,and then it was FINALLY time to go home! (By the way, I didn't have time to realize that I looked like hell...LOL...almost no sleep, THE most uncomfortable couch / bed, and a sort of primitive shower set up...too happy to care really!)

Chapter 4

Home.

Dorothy wasn't kidding when she said, "There's no place like home." January 21, 2010. It was a cloudy, dreary day, but we were so ready to leave that place. The husband was awfully cute as he scurried about getting things ready to help take the grandson and the daughter home...putting in the infant carseat, packing the enormous volume of items that had gathered in her two weeks in the hospital prior to the c-section, and just being so happy not to be home alone...We were so ready to leave. I must interject here that the daughter could not have had better care; she had some awesome nurses that were extremely helpful and informative. I asked specifically for six comment cards to write personal thanks to each one of them!

Home...home was on the horizon!

(So very tired. Doctor's appointment tomorrow early...so to be continued...)

Homecoming

2010-01-24T03:30:00.004-05:00

My God is ever faithful! Praise Him!

The daughter and Eli are home. They came home on Thursday, Jan. 21, 2010.

Everything is great, but so busy with a newborn baby in the house...(right now it is 3:34 am and I have just now found a quiet moment before I go to bed to type this tiny post!)

I have lots of stories & more photos to post SOON, I promise!

Returning...to peace

2010-01-06T23:58:00.002-05:00

Just returned from the hospital...a late night visit with the daughter after an all day / night visit.
I am completely wired.
I should be sleeping...
Neither one of us got much sleep last night when I spent the night with her there.
I am going to work in a few short hours.

As I drove home on the empty streets between the hospital and our home, I felt this overwhelming sense of peace, a familiar feeling kind of. If you know me at all, you would know that typically, I am someone who worries about everything. (I get that honest, from my mother.)

But over the last several years, God has NOT abandoned me even though He should have.
My husband has been through major heart surgery for a rare heart condition, surgery to remove a benign brain tumor, and another surgery less than a year later to remove another benign brain tumor in almost exactly the same spot. Through it all, I felt the prayers of our friends and family surround me like the very arms of my God Himself...(I had only one tiny breakdown thankfully with Sallee, my very best friend in the whole wide world, who knew just what to do) but through it all, I felt an almost eerie sense of peace...I've heard it spoken of- that peace that passes all understanding. I felt it. I did not worry. I rested in the fact that I KNEW God was taking care of us, of my husband, and He would not let anything happen to him. It perplexed me like nothing else...to see, no to feel, prayers working so strongly...it was such an overhwelming experience.

However, I am not a faithful daughter. I rarely go to church. If I am honest, I never read the Bible. I have long abandoned listening to Christian music for the most part. I pray, but sporadically at best. I claim to be His child...but I know I would never be so distant with my earthly father. Why is He so faithful to me? I do have a heart that longs for Him. I am His daughter, but I allow the things of this world to busy my head and my heart.

Still, like tonight, on the silent, empty streets on my way home to an empty house...He is with me. He is with my child...protecting her and her unborn baby, Eli.

Precious, Holy Father,
Forgive me.
Know the cries of my heart...how I long to be close to you.
Know that I believe with all of my heart in You and thank You for Your mercy, grace, forgiveness, and love.
Thank you for the debt You paid for MY sins...so that I could be clean and free.
I know I do not deserve it, but still You are faithful.
PLEASE be with Aubrey and Eli. Protect them and keep them safe.
Thank you for sending me family and friends that know You, that pray for us...
Thank you for this peace.
Amen.

4 generations

2010-01-06T14:47:00.005-05:00

The daughter is in the hospital; she's been there a full 24 hours so far- she has PIH= Pregnancy Induced Hypertension (they are testing to see if it is preeclampsia).
Eli is not supposed to come until the C-section on Jan. 29, but that may change...we will see what the doctors say tomorrow. They are monitoring her and running several tests. Several nurses have said that she might not be able to leave until after he is born. Oh goodness! (and she has a baby shower on Sunday.)

I took the day off to be with her today.
As I sat there today at one point, I thought how lucky Eli will be to know his grammy (me) and his great-nana (my mom)- there will be 4 generations soon!

I have a few vivid memories of my great-grandmother. We called her Granny Bell (her name was Annabelle), and she was SO tall; she wore a size 13 shoe, and was terribly afraid of her mailman. She had a red-headed baby boy doll with red felt overalls that she let me play with...I loved playing with the brass mail slot in her front door, and she would tell me to come away from there because the mailman would come soon. I am not sure what she had against the mailman, but I have such clear memories of her and her house even though I had to be younger than 5 years old. She died sometime after that, I think.

I hope Eli will know and love his great-grandparents...I know he will.
I guess I just realized today how special it is that he will be coming into an extended family that completely loves him already, and is anxiously awaiting his arrival!

Hope your week is a good one!

Looking Forward

2009-12-31T00:16:00.004-05:00

Eli's coming...
January 29, 2010!

May Your Days Be Merry

2009-12-25T02:20:00.003-05:00

Grammy and Pops, as we will be called soon...very, very soon!

The daughter and the great-grandparents...(and Baby Eli who is loved so much already!)

Merry Christmas from our family to yours!

I pray that this day finds you in good health, with love and laughter surrounding you.

May you know Jesus, as we celebrate His birth and His grace and mercy on us all...

It's a Wonderful Life!

2009-12-14T20:16:00.009-05:00

Jimmy Stewart, I agree...it IS a wonderful life!

"What is it you want, Mary? What do you want? You want the moon? Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. Hey. That's a pretty good idea. I'll give you the moon, Mary."

Sorry...the daughter and I just watched that film last evening, and I couldn't help myself.

George Bailey gets me every time. It really is a wonderful life...

Whew! What a week...what a wonderful week.

Last weekend, I took Friday off from work and the daughter and I attended such a beautiful wedding in Savannah, Georgia. The bride, my second cousin, and the groom were married just a few feet from where the daughter stands in the above photo in Forsyth Fountain Park. There was a miraculous change in weather from the dreary, stormy rehearsal dinner evening the night before. By noon on the wedding day, the weather was absolutely perfect- chilly, crisp, hint of sunshine, dry, and simply perfect. Because I have such a crappy camera, I do not have photos that would do justice to how lovely this wedding really was. Click here if you'd like to see what the professional photographers did with this glorious wedding! The reception (and next day's Sunday brunch) took place at the Mansion on Forsyth Park. We were amazed! A beautiful beginning for the precious new couple.

After the fabulous weekend, I was off from work again on Monday...to do something purely for myself. I have not been that excited (or nervous) in quite awhile. The daughter was to be my right hand girl for the day- driver, photographer, entertainment, you name it...she was it! She was the perfect companion on a day long excursion to the big city of Atlanta to see one of my favorite bloggers, PW.

We left kind of early- after two doctor visits, gas station, and bank visits, we finally pulled into the parking lot of Borders around 2:00 or so. PW was set to arrive at 6:00...just a few hours to kill. We managed to find a few things to do...like take goofy photos of each other while we were waiting:
Lovely huge grin, nice double chin. I look like I really need a cook book, don't I? One too many of PW's butter filled, luscious concoctions...yep...you're right! After the grandson is born in February, I need to put away that sinful book, and eat some salad.
This is just how the daughter looked most of the day...SO pregnant, swollen feet, and an aching back...thank goodness, we spotted such comfy chairs. Because we had the foresight to arrive early (Thank you, PW, for such vivid details of all of your book signings and the huge crowds!) we got orange arm bands (the first color of the evening!) group F (the sixth group of the first color!) and we really did not have to wait that long.

Sometime earlier in the day, I forgot to say that we traveled across the street to do a bit of shopping at the Target...the daughter's god mother was paying for the stroller from her baby shower registry, but she was having a hard time finding it at home. So, we made the trek (risking the loss of a comfy spot to sit in Borders) walking across the street (we did not want to lose our parking space) to look for the stroller. Low and behold we found it, and the scooter the godmother also asked us to get for her son for Christmas...Just so you know these were THE most enormous boxes I have ever seen and we were without the car! Um...what to do?!

I made the very pregnant daughter stay with the purchases, and I hiked up the hill, across the highway, I mean street, and through the parking lot to the car...praying the whole way that someone did not hurt my baby and steal the huge boxes from her (not paranoid at all, I tell you). I drove back over to Target, and we proceeded to work tirelessly to get these monstrocities into the car / trunk. Even though it was nice and chilly...I kept thinking, "This is just what I need...to get all sweaty just before I meet PW!"
Finally, we get it done, and we are back in place at Borders...waiting some more.

Eventually, PW arrives...we can tell by the screams, the applause, and the scramble of people to get over to where she is...(our strategically placed comfy chairs are just behind the screen where she is signing, and I can not force the daughter, with her swollen pregnant feet, to give them up just to go see and stand some more...so we sit and listen). They call orange A-C to come and line up. (Thank you, Borders, for having this so wonderfully well organized!) Periodically, I would panic that maybe I had not heard the nice man call my letter, F, and I would ask the daughter if she thought we should give up the chairs to go and see. She was steadfast...we would not! They had not called anything but A-C. This happened several times, and anyone else would have left me stranded in the Borders and driven home to peace and quiet...but not the daughter! She was the perfect, patient, and wonderfully calm companion. She even allowed me to whine a bit...worrying about what I would say to PW, how sweaty I might be by that time, and when they were gonna get to letter F. (Sometimes, I am the daughter and she is the mother.)

They say pregnant women are sometimes moody (I would never day that, nope, not me)...not the daughter...not this day! She was the picture of patience.

Finally, they called D, E, and....F! We went to line up, and the line snaked through the rows of books until it got to the Borders screen where PW was sitting.

Note: Now, let me just say that I have read many accounts on PW's blog of all sort of her fans and what it was like for them as they waited to have a moment with her. They ALL mention the wonderful conversations between virtual strangers in line...laughing, talking, taking photos of one another, making friends...etc. The daughter and I must be THE most anti-social people in the world...we barely spoke to anyone except each other. But that's ok...we're just SHY. Yeah, that's it...SHY.

Here it is...the moment I was waiting for!

I am sure you are wondering what wonderfully brilliant thing I finally decided to say to her.
Well....
I am fairly certain that I said something about my quivery lips...trying to smile for this photo. She was too sweet...she said the same thing was happening to her because she was nervous. After that, I can not be sure what I said...something about being sweaty...(sweaty...really?!) I am pretty sure. Nice. Classy. It went by really fast, and then we were over at the next table meeting Betsy (her sister) and Hyacinth (her friend). Shockingly fast...and then in less than two hours from the time PW arrived, the daughter and I were released into the cold Atlanta night air...on our way home.

A funny note...when we arrived home, I thought certainly that the daughter would collapse and be completely ready for bed...not exactly. While I was checking my email and preparing for the next work day after being out two days, I heard this hammering sound...

She just couldn't wait to put her precious stroller together! She did it all by herself! Just adorable...little mama and her boy's little hoot stroller.

That was one week ago this evening.
Time flies...really...in this wonderful life, it does.
I am thankful for so much- having the opportunity to take off from work when I need to, having a precious daughter who loves me in spite of so much, who is willing to endure my endless whining and spends time with me, having the chance to meet PW, a blogger that I simply adore...it doesn't get much better!
Here's hoping that you take the time to do something fun for yourself and that you are able to see what a wonderful life this actually is!
Have a great week...

Atlanta Eve

2009-12-06T21:56:00.003-05:00

Well, it feels a little like Christmas Eve kinda.

I am on the verge of doing something so fun, I can barely stand it.

Tomorrow, the daughter and I are heading to Atlanta to meet one of my very favorite bloggers, Pioneer Woman, Ree Drummond. It's ok that she's not signing her book until later in the evening...I took the whole day off from work just in case! Several important errands have come up since then, so I sure am glad I did. After a few pit stops, we'll be on our way to Atlanta to plant ourselves at the Borders. I have been looking forward to this for months, ever since I saw Atlanta pop up on her book signing tour. I have a little confession of my own though...

I am getting a tad bit nervous. Is that normal? Shouldn't she be the nervous one? She has done this so often by now, she couldn't possibly be nervous! If you know me at all, you are not surprised that I'd be the nervous one...What will I wear? What will I say? What if I embarrass myself? What will I say? What if I ramble on like I usually do? What if we do not make it in time? What will I say? What if we stand in line forever...will I make it back home in time for a good night's sleep? What will I wear? What will I say?

In case you can't tell, I have a mild case of social anxiety...I am bringing the daughter along for several reasons. First, she's the love of my life, and I can not think of anyone with whom I'd rather share my day. Also, because she is my filter...she'll (hopefully) stop me from saying wildly inappropriate things that are just unnecessary. Next, because I can NOT drive in Atlanta. She will be my chauffeur. Finally, because she just SO MUCH FUN. It will be with her that I laugh until I almost wet my pants and seriously need an oxygen tank just to breathe from laughing so hard. She's my baby girl who is expecting a baby herself soon, and I am not sure how many more mother - daughter days we'll have...so the daughter and I will most certainly have a few funny stories when we return. I can't wait to share them with you.

Hope your week starts off with loads of smiles and fun!

Dreaming of a White Christmas

2009-11-30T23:35:00.005-05:00

In honor of the fact that the first day of December is minutes away, and the fact that I have posted only once in November, I thought I would share a few minutes of fun. This absolutely lovely place is called "The Hide-Away" by all who know it...it is nestled at the top of a mountain in North Carolina. This view is from the amazing deck down the drive way. If you look to your right, this is what you see. It feels as though you must be the only one in the universe, and as you breathe in the crisp mountain air, the stress disappears little by little. This precious place is owned by my dear cousins, E and J, and we had the honor of visiting here in October for their daughter's bridal shower party. What fun! More fun even was what happened as we were there:

I was completely surprised...that just does not happen in Georgia in October! But the first North Carolina snowfall has left me wanting more...

We will be with these fabulous family members this weekend to attend the wedding in Savannah, one of my favorite cities in my state. I am sure I will have plenty to share.

Have a wonderful week...may you be blessed and feel the surprises of this holiday season each and every day!

Like a cat whose ears are being scratched...

2009-11-26T10:47:00.003-05:00

I am quietly and serenely thankful...thankful for so much.

There are not even words to express the depth of thankfulness I feel.

I am blessed beyond measure.

Hoping your day of Thanksgiving is a wonderful outpouring of love, family, friends, and blessings.

Elijah Graham

2009-10-14T18:18:00.007-04:00

We will call him Eli.

This is Eli's mommy and his great-grandparents putting together his new bed recently.

This is where Eli will sleep.

We now have a matress, crib sheets, a comforter, and some other cutie pie things for the boy.

Anxiously awaiting his arrival in February.

I am Eli's grammy.

Furlough Friday

2009-10-14T17:59:00.004-04:00

The daughter had a great idea.

I was on yet another furlough day (so far we've had three).
It was Friday.
The national fair arrived not so far away from our city the day before.

Yes, she's pregnant.
No, she couldn't ride any rides.
But, she was craving fair food...you know- nachos, corn dogs, cotton candy, funnel cakes...
Need I say more?
We laughed, shared most of the food from the above list...walked around, looked at the fun fair sights...and sweated profusely. (It was SO HOT.)
But it was fun.
I could not resist taking her photo with her lunch delights...so many people did that to me years ago when I was pregnant with her...I felt I should return the favor. Nice, huh?

Not long after that excursion, I got a terrible cold and spent the rest of my really long weekend in my pajamas resting (coughing, sneezing, hacking, and trying to breathe!)
Monday was a holiday....still in pajamas...thought I might be able to risk returning to school on Tuesday...no such luck...came home...more pajamas...all the while still trying to breathe...and not sound like I should be wearing a hospital surgical mask.

Really, I am better. And already it is almost the weekend again. How time flies when you are not at work. Hope your week has been a healthy and happy one.

My Grandson

2009-09-17T00:02:00.004-04:00

It's a BOY!

The daughter will have a son in February, and my heart is already bursting with grandmotherly love.

Nine Things

2009-09-09T15:17:00.012-04:00

In honor of this unique day, 09/09/09, nine random things:

1. I have THE biggest sweet tooth ever...in fact, I think I have all sweet teeth.

We have a swanky market in town called The Fresh Market, and sometimes, we go and get the oddest completely unnecessary things like an enormous sucker (a cavity waiting to happen), fresh ground cashew butter (who doesn't need that?), gummy bears (sweet teeth, I tell you), mix & match beer (which I do not even drink), and random Indian seasonings.

2. I love the beach in winter most especially.

Windy, cold, a sweater pulled around me...the freezing sand on my bare feet...the crashing of the waves and the cry of the gulls...it speaks to me like nothing else...invigorating and real...waking me up from the slumber of daily life.

3. Vincent van Gogh's birthday is March 30.

My very best friend in the whole wide world, Sally, and I have celebrated on this day with dinner, a drink of two, cards, and cake...just like any birthday! (Perhaps we will do it again this coming year!) What could be better than your best friend, a wonderful meal, and a dead painter? Well, for someone who gave the world his Sunflowers and Starry Night...nothing!

4. I love this little girl's feet.

Tiny toes, chipped polish, tickle spots, and flip flops...these feet carry her everywhere in her busy world...I am standing on the sidelines watching them grow...watching her grow...watching her move through this world...in awe of her abilities and talents...

5. I treat my cats like children.

Maybe that should make me ashamed...I am not sure. But, I can not help it. Look at these three, snuggling in front of the fire place. We had five at one time, but Horatio (the middle gray cat) died last January. Sometimes, I miss him more than I could express. I have a sorrowful longing inside my heart that will not fill up with anything else. However, the other four keep me smiling and laughing and snuggling. At least, they share the house with us.

6. Speaking of cats...this is Norton...on my favorite red sheets...in my bed.

One luxury that I love (regardless of the budget) is wonderfully soft sheets...the higher the thread count, the better...the more vibrant the color, the best! After the husband washes these and puts them on our bed, I could rest there forever and be happy...pure bliss!

7. I wish I lived somewhere wonderfully cold and snowy.

Maybe I would get tired of the work of it...but there is something so moving to my soul about snow. I love looking at it, being in it, and experiencing it so completely. We so rarely get snow here that things actually shut down and the city comes to a screeching halt. If I lived somewhere that had snow more often, it would be such a wonderful thing. Real winter!

8. I will be a grandmother in February.

No matter how many times I say it, it still surprises me. We have come to accept this as an exciting fact, and are looking forward to this day as a wonderful experience for our family. My parents will know their great-grand child! As a very young mother myself, this is not what I wanted for my daughter, but she is not nearly as young as I was thankfully. She is much more mature and capable of raising a child than I could have been at 17. We will find out whether it is a girl or a boy next week. I am going with her to watch the sonogram and be amazed and cry like a grandmother should!

9. Today, I am 38 years old.

Hope you are having a great week, and today brought you something special.

Whew!

2009-08-18T21:33:00.003-04:00

Back when it was summer...and I had leisure time to lazily spend the day with this sweetie pie...I did not realize how fast the time would fly and it would be almost September so soon...Whew.
I am missing those precious summer days when we laughed and played and did whatever we wanted!

School is not so bad for the beginning of the year. It's middle school- 7th grade, 12 year olds- so what can I say? It could always be worse. Things have been VERY hectic, making up for the two furlough days..we had to cram six days of pre-planning into only three. I have just this afternoon finally gotten through all of the hundreds of returned forms that we sent out to parents on the first few days of school. I can always complain, but I will not. I am thankful to have a job and a pay check!

Hope to catch up soon, and make a decent post with something exciting and nice photos to go along...ha! We'll see how long that takes.
Hope all is well for you in your world. Have a great week.

Furlough Days

2009-08-01T20:12:00.002-04:00

Was supposed to start back to work this past Thursday. Budget cuts...two furlough days (and one more later in October), so why bother. Apparently there are people who just assume that teachers will take a pay cut and come to work anyway. Not this teacher.

The weekend is well underway, and I do officially start on Monday. *sigh*
I always feel a bit depressed when summer comes to an end.

Am working on a huge scrapbook project for my cousin's birthday, so I need to get back to work. Hope you are doing something fun this weekend.

This Place

2009-07-18T06:29:00.002-04:00

This place.
I am leaving to go here in a few minutes...
I am hoping to calm my mind and erase my fears at here (or at least diminish them).
Ready to utter some prayers, soak in some tranquility and be one with this treasure that God has given us.

Hope the week is wonderful for you too.

Peanut

2009-07-15T11:06:00.007-04:00

This is peanut...a sonogram of my GRANDchild. Yes. You read it correctly. It is official. I will be a grandmother in February. I am not sure there is space here for me to really reveal all of the thoughts running around in my head, or if I actually want to do that until they are ready for public consumption...right now, I just just wanted to record this here. Peanut is real. I am sure many, many future posts will contain an almost ridiculous amount of gushing about this child. I hear grandparents do that, you know. But right now, I just needed to say it.

By the way, if you are like me, and you can never see anything on a sonogram image...the baby's head is on the right. His/her hands (obviously not fully formed) are just below that to the left, and the rest is his/her body...(if you look at is sideways thinking of the right as the top of the head, it is pretty clear) All in all he/she is just a little peanut forming...growing...waiting until the day when he/she will make an appearance and fall into our arms!

Sunny Summer Days

2009-06-29T18:25:00.010-04:00

What images come to mind when you think of summer?

If you are like me, probably the pool, the beach, flip flops, the grill, a cute little fruity drink...maybe with a tiny umbrella!?

But I also imagine family get togethers...the kind my father's people in Dublin, Georgia always have in the summer...

What could be better than a family reunion with ALL kinds of Southern goodness???

This past Saturday afternoon, we did indeed have a wonderful time at our family reuinon...seeing family members, laughing, talking, catching up, and eating outragous amounts of food that was just too good to describe here....

Ok, well, I'll give it a try...fresh creamed corn, down home butter beans, newly picked field peas...those were just the vegetables piled on my plate! I never get those kinds of fresh vegetables at home, so I just could not resist! I did not eat any fried chicken- I know you are positively shocked, but I was saving room for dessert! Oh my Lord...do not get me started on the pound cake! With one bite alone, I was completely taken back to the days when my sweet precious grandmother made THE most delicious pound cake; she never even needed to look at that recipe she made it so often...the crumbly top, the sour creamy moist cake...oh my. I have not had a decent pound cake since my beloved grandmother passed away almost 18 years ago! Needless to say, I got the recipe from my relative who generously emailed it to me. (I will post later about my first attempt one day when I am feeling capable enough to give pound cake a try!) All in all, the day was quite special and I left wishing I was wearing stretchy pants!

Well, much to our surprise, as we were driving home...what did we see in the distance?

A FIELD of sunflowers as far at the eye could see...it was off the road a good bit, but my adorable father drove over this dirt road to get us closer to it...I kept imagining that I was going to hear gunshots any minute...thankfully, we didn't. (I fully comprehend that we were technically trasspassing...but we were only taking pictures, and a great photo is worth it, right? My father said he was afraid I was going to come back to the car with an armful of the flowers; don't think I didn't at least consider it, but I was not going to push my luck with possible shotgun sounds looming! Besides the stalks were as thick as a human forearm!)

I literally could not believe my eyes...I have never before been standing among so many beautiful HUGE sunflowers. Years ago, when I studied abroad in France, that was one of my favorite things- on the train from Paris to Strasbourg, I saw nothing but fields and fields and fields of sunflowers...I wanted so desperately to beg someone to stop the train so I could get out and look more closely...like that was going to happen! The train was going by so fast, I never even got any photos out the window. That is one of those times that the picture in your mind is so perfect...much more so than I could have done with any camera.

Well, this was our chance to mingle among the sunflowers and gaze upon their glorious faces! It was just as I imagined it would be...like standing inside one of Van Gogh's lovley paintings...

Hope your summer days are just as sunny and filled with the goodness of food, family, and fun surprises along the way! Have a great week.

(P.S. to my very best friend in the whole wide world, Sally: I wished so whole heartedly that you had been with me...you would have completely understood the Vincent moment...and I could not help but think of you every step of the way! I love you and miss you, my friend.)

They're Home!

2009-06-22T10:40:00.005-04:00

Yesterday was such a great day! The daughter, my parents, and other relatives made it back from the beach safe and sound and much earlier than usual! I had a father's day dinner all planned out and prepared to cook when I met them over at my parent's house.

I made carne asada with flank steak (and chicken for the daughter who does not eat red meat) except I turned it into shish ka bobs with vegetables like green and red bell peppers, baby portobella mushrooms, and onions. We also had corn on the cob and a lovley green salad. The marinade on the meat made it so tender and delicious! This is the epitome of a summer meal to me...also something my father had never grilled.

I adore this man. He is the best father in the world...I could not have chosen better parents if I'd been given the ability to do so. It felt like it was 9,000 degrees outside, and he was totally willing to be the designated grill master! I decided to accompany him, despite my hatred for the high humidity. (Literally the heat index was 110 while the temperature gauge read 99). It was funny because seconds later, everyone joined us outside despite the heat. We were enjoying the precious deck that my brother built for them, my mother's potted plants, and each others' company! This is our first summer since my parents moved away from the house we all grew up in...no more pool, no more lush beautiful gardens around the pool, no more acres of grass for him to cut! No matter where they live, my parents will always have a lovely yard with beautiful flowers...and a grill and a deck!

Everyone enjoyed dinner, and then we had such a fun dessert! The daughter and I (though we were apart for the week) planned (through text messages and phone calls) to make a specatacular surprise that we found on Bakerella's site...Happy meals for all of the fathers we know and love! These were delicious and certainly impressive. You should check out her blog if you ever need something to wow someone. The daughter and I love to try new treats from her site. We had some difficulty with the sugar cookie fries and we are always a tab bit messy compared to her perfection, but we had such a good time putting these together...and everyone seemed to enjoy eating them!

Hope everyone had a wonderful father's day and a superb weekend. Now, I am going to go look at my girl again and tell her how very glad I am that she's home!

Longing

2009-06-20T22:21:00.003-04:00

My baby girl has been out of town with my parents for a week.

A WEEK I tell you. Seven straight days...in a row...

I am missing her so much right now.

Ok. So she's clearly not a "baby" girl; she's twenty for goodness sakes.
But still I miss her. Her smile. The shrug of her shoulders. Her scent. Laughing with her....talking with her...cooking with her....Oh, my. This is bad.

Thank goodness, she is coming home tomorrow!

Delightful Dishes

2009-06-09T23:32:00.005-04:00

I am SO exhausted...the good kind of exhausted...the kind that comes from doing what you love!
I have been SO busy lately. I kind of thought things would slow down a bit since it is summer, but it hasn't really. So much so that I never even got around to posting more details about the daughter's birthday! She had a GREAT one, and now I am the mother of a twenty year old. How can that be???

Today was not much different....such a busy whirlwind of activity and excitement.

First, I am teaching a class for teachers called "The Teaching of Reading." What could be better than sharing ideas and activities with teachers concerning a subject about which I am completely passionate?! Although it IS summer here, and I am REALLY ready for a break, I get out each afternoon at 1:30, so it's not that bad at all. Ok, that has been fun so far...but....

Are you ready for the REAL fun from today? Brace yourself.

My friend, Natalie, the daughter, and I cooked up a STORM this evening...all sorts of deliciousness...I can not even begin to say how many ingredients we used, how many pots, pans, spoons, and dishes we used...the husband has just finished doing ALL of them for me. Life does not get much better. Nat had her amazing camera there, so I know some day soon she will post evidence of this wonderfully fun evening. The whole Benson family took part in helping the whole Magallano family have such a delightful meal! I will not give away the secret about what exactly we ate. I am sure Nat will love sharing stories about that, but let me just say this was the most fun I have had in my kitchen in quite some time.

Thanks to the Benson family for an evening to remember.
Now, I am off to literally FALL into bed.

Twenty

2009-06-01T07:43:00.002-04:00

The daughter turns twenty today.
Mentally, I just can not comprehend this.
We are off the spend the day celebrating!
More later...

The Passing of Time

2009-05-30T23:35:00.003-04:00

Attended my nephew's high school graduation this evening.
Wondered where all of these years have gone...how did they go by so very fast?
Is it really possiible that he could be eighteen, a high school graduate, and ready for the world?
It was almost more than I could bear.

I held him as a tiny baby...changed his diapers...rocked him to sleep on more than several occasions. My brother and the nephew's mother divorced when the nephew was a boy. His mother moved to another city (not terribly far away, but not here) and we do not see him as much as I would like. I suppose some of that is my own fault. I could have asked to get him for a weekend or such.

I remembered so much this evening as I sat waiting to hear his name...waiting for him to walk across the stage and get his diploma...I remembered his little boy grin, his curly locks, his arm around my daughter's shoulders..."Cousins," they would say. When most people yelled and shouted for joy this evening, I felt my eyes well up with tears...

The passage of time is such a bittersweet thing.

Jack Martin, I am so very proud of you, and I love you more than I can say. You made it!
"Let your soul shine,
It's better than sunshine,
It's better than moonshine
Damn sure better than rain...
Gotta let your soul shine,
shine 'til the break of day..."

Summer, Smiles, and Sprinkles

2009-05-30T09:26:00.007-04:00

School is out. Summer has begun.

Relaxation...it's what I have been looking for for awhile now...after such a long hard school year- one of the worst in my teaching career- all I want to do is nothing.

Over the last few weeks when school was the hardest, the daughter helped me find ways to make it through...we went to the park on several occasions to nap on a picnic blanket, play in the water, and blow these humongous bubbles...

Then of course, we all celebrated my parents' 50th wedding anniversary! What an amazing weekend...we spent it in North Carolina with family...and a fabulous meal at this place called the Gateway Club. It is a restaurant housed in a historical building that has been restored with state of the art amenities while holding on to the traditions of the past...simply amazing. My brother and sister-in-law did an anniversary video that brought us all to tears. We are blessed to have THE best parents in the world...I couldn't have chosen better parents myself.

Also, the daughter and I have been in the kitchen making all sorts of fun things...like these graduation pops for a friend of hers. We found them on one of my favorite blogs, Bakerella. Of course Bakerella's look perfect, and we were a little messy, but the effect was the same.

We have also been making....soft serve ice cream with mix-ins like sprinkles. That's enough to make anyone smile! The husband purchased this machine because sprinkles are the daughter's favorite thing and we love ice cream at our house...and last night we tried it for the first time. Peanut butter ice cream with rainbow candy coated chocolate sprinkles. I was so excited, I forgot to get a shot of the actual ice cream. Trust me, we had some, and it was yummy. What says summer better than ice cream?

I have several more days of work ahead of me, even though the school year is officially over. I am also teaching a class for teachers soon, so the summer is looking further and further away. I am trying to do little things to help remind me that it IS really summer. How about you? What fun summer things have you been doing?

Broken and Empty

2009-05-11T23:50:00.003-04:00

I have this picture of something in my mind lately that looks like a broken and empty vessel...like a tea pot or pitcher that has been accidentally dropped on the floor....pieces scattered and that feeling that you might have just after it drops...

My Mother

2009-05-10T09:58:00.010-04:00

She is a presence.

This woman.

I adore her.

She has a spirit that I can not even find words to express.

She has spent her life as a "housewife" (her words when anyone asks her what she does for a living) giving her all to her family...sacrificing her own needs for us on a daily basis. Still.
She grew up with a loving mother and a not-so-loving father. She smiled in spite of it all. Her heart is so open, so loving, so honest...

This became so much clearer to me on the day that my own daughter was born. My mother told me that day that the years would fly by as they had with her own children...that I needed to savor each moment as a mother. Boy, was she ever right! I wonder so often where the last nineteen years have gone. She loves so strongly, so forcefully that sometimes it almost smothers, but I would not have it any other way.

She enjoyed the life of a stay-at-home mom...cooking, cleaning, taking care of everything...those were her loves...she did each chore with such love, such dedication. I feel some days that I am nothing like her; I choose to work...most of my time is spent being too busy to care about the things she loves so much. In recent years, I have come to understand that though we chose different paths, we are still very much alike. I have come to cherish that.

She lives life to the fullest every single day. She has survived much in her life- a rough relationship with her father, loss, teenage pregnancy by her daughter, cancer, financial difficulties...She handles everything with faith and grace. This woman. My mother.

I hope mothers everywhere enjoy this day...have a happy one. I am going to go spend some time with this woman...to try and tell her again how much she means to me.

Missing April

2009-04-30T22:39:00.005-04:00

So, where did the month of April go? Does anyone know???
I can not believe it is already practically May, and I have not posted since our Cherry Blossom Festival. I have been so ridiculously busy with school. Let's see...what have I been doing???
Well, here's the list:

* teaching CRCT prep classes every afternoon until 5 p.m. (after teaching an entire day, mind you)
* being team captain of our Relay for Life team
* organizing ALL Relay events (we had something every single day in April!)
* sending countless emails to our staff informing them of every little detail about every single event
* dealing with state mandated testing (two weeks of sheer stress and frustration that the kids might not score well...)
* still teaching five classes a day, managing the MASSIVE paperwork that is involved
* maintaining my position as department chair of my content area
* attending meetings about our new Spring Intervention Plan (since we have no summer school due to budget cuts, we are technically teaching summer school right now with an enormous re-scheduling of 110 students for five teachers!)
* working with my cluster mates to re-schedule the students, who belongs in remediation classes and who belongs in acceleration classes...planning specialized lessons that are all hands-on, differentiated, and unique
* participating in meeting and planning for our new Arts Integration Committee
* conducting my regular duties and responsibilities as a teacher -parent conferences, planning with collegues, creating lesson plans, grading papers, posting grades, teaching, teaching, and more teaching...

One of my biggest distrations this month has been our Relay for Life activities. I have been a team captain for the last ten years no matter where I have worked. I always volunteer to do this because it is such a worthy cause to raise money to help fight cancer. In 1994, my mother had breast cancer, and I am so moved, saddened, strengthened, and inspired by people who go through such a difficult time...I feel compelled to do what I can in some small way.

Tomorrow night is our county's Relay for Life event, and the school fund raising events will come to an end. It's been such a fabulous year. In spite of budget cuts, hard economic times, and financial difficulties all around, our school has raised just over $11,000!!! That amount is $2,000 more than we raised last year. I was completely shocked and thrilled at our total. We have literally been totally engrossed in Relay for Life activities for such a long time now, it is hard to believe another Relay year is coming to an end. The actual Relay for Life Walk-a-Thon event is my most favorite thing because we all get to kick back, have some time to just walk and talk and laugh and eat and celebrate a job well done. In most schools, teachers rarely get time to do just that.

I am off to fall into bed after typing a test for tomorrow's classes. Nightie-night!

Tickle Me Pink

2009-03-23T17:29:00.006-04:00

Like Natalie, my friend who lives in the same town, we geared up for a community-wide week-long festival to celebrate the thousands of Cherry Blossom trees we have here. Practically the whole town turns up pink, and there are tons of festivities! The weekend weather was perfect, and the trees cooperated by blooming beautifully.

At the school where I work, we prepared for Friday, the first day of this festival, by having a "Tickle Me Pink Day" for our secret pals! I made something that I learned on two of my favorite blogs (Bakerella and Pioneer Woman) to surprise my secret pal with a sweet pink treat- cupcake bites! Aren't they just precious? Since Friday, I have made two more batches over the weekend! (I have no desire to see anymore for a few months!) They are not only adorable; they are also delicious and not the most impossible things to make. If I can do it, you can do it! My best shot just tickles me pink:

All things were right in the universe this weekend...my baking turned out perfectly; the weather was fabulous; my family enjoyed the time we spent together, and I feel hopeful and ready for the weeks to come...(Spring Break is on the way, Baby!) Hope your weekend put things into a positive perspective for you too! Check out the other Best Shots for Monday at Tracey's place!

Picnic in the Park

2009-03-09T19:10:00.005-04:00

Weather seems to be very unpredictable around here these days...we had snow last Sunday and 70 degree temps yesterday! The sky was gloriously bright, and the buds on every tree seem ready to burst forth. A pleasant breeze was blowing, and it seemed like everyone should be outside!

I was busy grading papers ALL DAY on Saturday, and I was longing for the sun to touch my skin on Sunday. Have you ever felt like that? I was just aching to get outside, and we decided to have a picnic in a local park. Well, it seems that everyone in my city decided to do that as well. Washington Park, the park that we had chosen, was ridiculously packed, so we found another less popular choice to spend the afternoon- Coleman Hill. This is one of the highest areas in my city, a place from where you can see most of downtown from the top.

We found a shady place beneath a tree, and proceeded to soak it all in! What a lovely way to spend a Sunday afternoon. Hope your weekend allowed you to rest and rejuvinate...have a wonderful week!

And my best shot:

It's really not the best shot at all, but the camera's battery chose to die after only two photos. So, this is all I have. To check out other people's really best shots, visit Tracey!

Winter Wonderland

2009-03-02T08:06:00.005-05:00

Just when I thought we were on the fast track to summer...it SNOWS! Usually, here in the South, we have a brief mild spring, and summer temperatures follow quickly behind causing smoldering heat waves that you can literally see coming off of the pavement. Temperatures last week were already hovering near 70 degrees. Today, school is cancelled for a snow day. Bizarre!

The daughter and I took a walk and played outside yesterday in the late afternoon...we laughed and frolicked like we were giddy children. In fact, we could hear the squeals of delight from nearby children. We encountered several people taking walks through our neighborhood. It was just lovely. Afterwards, we went inside, sat by the fireplace, had hot chocolate, and snuggled beneath blankets watching the snow fall from the windows.

We so rarely get snow that it just amazes us all...it often shuts the city down, and causes people to panic. This time, schools did close, but most everything else is open. My sister-in-law has to work, so the daughter and I are going to keep my niece, MEBs. Another rare treat!

I see the sun shining already and the glimmer of newly fallen snow that will not last too long. No matter how quickly it disappears, this will be a treasured memory for us for a long time to come!

And our best shot...our happy smiling faces! For other Best Shot Monday stories and photos, spend some time with Tracey!

That Place

2009-02-18T22:52:00.005-05:00

You know that place where it all makes sense...where your heart is free to soar and you take such deep breaths that you feel you might just float away?

I was able to be there recently with my best friend in the whole wide world.

It felt like...coming home.

Loss

2009-01-27T23:10:00.005-05:00

My sweet cat, Horatio, died this morning. The husband and I helplessly watched him take his last breath at 6:25 am. This has been such a surreal day...my mind has been kind of cloudy. I tried to make it at school today, but the wonderful people with whom I work took care of things so that I could come home and well, take care of things. My precious parents and daughter helped me, and then the daughter kept me busy for the rest of the day.
Horatio had been sick since just before Christmas, so he has been much of my focus during my at home hours. I had some really tender moments with him, and I am fortunate for having had the opportunity to have such a great cat.

Monday Mushrooms

2009-01-06T23:14:00.003-05:00

Just so you know, it is not Monday. It felt like a Monday all day. One of those kinds of days. It is also not spring, but who can tell with the weather we've had lately. The mushrooms are even confused.

Today was our second day back after the holidays, but our first day with students.

Whew.

I only thought I was well rested and relaxed. At the end of this day, I felt much like I had lived through five days in one. By my calculations then, tomorrow should be Friday!

Alas. It is not.

There are so many reasons why I love being a teacher. I love the moment when a student really gets it. I live for the days when my classroom is buzzing with activity and everyone seems tuned in to something fun that I have dreamed up....that happens, you know. Really. It does. I could go on and on about what I love, but today....with spring-like weather....and middle-schoolers....

Yeesh. I had to remind myself why I do what I do. I summoned up every single fabulous moment to remind myself that I do love teaching!

I imagined in my infinite wisdom that the students would return today sleepy and sullen and quietly withdrawn...kind of in the coma of too many late night television shows and sleepy afternoons of video game stupor...Ha! Comotose they were not. Quiet they were not. Sleepy they were not. It was not the worst day in my history of education. It was, however, a shock to my system. Perhaps, I was sleepy and quietly withdrawn and sullen...too many late night television movies and sleepy afternoon books...

Whatever the reason, school has returned with a vengence. The sad part is spring really is right around the corner for us.

Excuse me while I step away from the keyboard for a moment of prayer.

Hope things are great wherever you are. Happy New Year!

18 years ago

2008-12-29T21:57:00.005-05:00

It was a Saturday on this very day 18 years ago- a lovely day with perfect weather, though not as cold as I would have liked. Because we live in the south, the winter weather sometimes does not cooperate, and it feels more like spring. If you live somewhere with huge snowfalls and below freezing temperatures, you might wonder why I would wish for colder weather, but to me December should be winter really, and I love cold weather...so naturally, I was hoping for cold.

I was not nervous in the least....which if you know me, is unlikely at best. I worry about everything, and get nervous just thinking about things. But, the sun was shining down upon us, and I felt like this day was meant to be. Everything was planned perfectly, and I was finally ready to marry the man of my dreams.

Thinking back on that day now, I realize how young and foolish I was...I realize how much I did not know...I realize no one could have prepared me for what was going to happen to us in the 18 years to come. No matter what though, I would not change a thing. I would do it all over again!

It is shocking to me that we have been married for 18 years...I have wondered so many times in this space where all of that time has gone...usually concerning our daughter and how fast she has grown up, but the realization that we have fallen asleep next to one another for almost the last 20 years is stunning...so many people are not fortunate enough to stay married for too long, so I feel blessed that we are still together...that he still loves me in spite of so much...that we have loved, laughed, forgiven, and created together for 18 years...

This anniversary has not been like I envisioned it...we are dealing with the husband's stomach virus, a sick cat, band practice for a New Year's gig, and the lethargy that comes after too little sleep because of all of the above...regardless, as I am typing this, I can hear the riffs of the bass and the beating of the drums from the band room, my heart swells with pride for the man I love and have loved for so much of my life...he makes me swoon. I pray that we enjoy another 18 years together or more!

The beginning of our official family: December 29, 1990.

May you be blessed with love and happiness for the upcoming new year!

In the span of two weeks

2008-11-26T18:56:00.005-05:00

I am fortunate to live in a state that allows me to travel to varied locations rather easily...

In the span of virtually two weeks, I have been to two locations on short trips- two very different places with weather extremes that are hard to believe happened in the same month!

First, I had the privilege of attending the lovely wedding of my second cousin. He and his now wife live in Orlando, Florida. Even though the wedding was the first weekend in November, it was so very warm and sunny there. It was an outside wedding that took place at 3:00 pm...just in time for the sunshine to burst forth from behind a huge palm tree and heat me until I thought I might spontaneously combust! Needless to say, the wedding was brief, but the festivities surrounding it were so amazing- THE most delicious Italian food for the rehearsal dinner the evening before the wedding, cocktail hour by the pool while waiting on the wedding party to take photos just after the wedding, a sit down dinner of several courses after the wedding, and a champagne brunch on the morning after the wedding. We did not stop celebrating (or eating) the entire weekend! It was one of the best times I have ever had at a wedding!

A shot of the aisle where the bride walked...lovely flowers and such a view!

The fountain in the plaza leading to the wedding site...an exquisite location! The Mission Inn

Below, the daughter and I are really enjoying ourselves...and below that, our view just outside the reception...as the sun began to fully set.

Lastly, this is the morning of the brunch after the wedding. I am pictured here with my parents, the daughter, my favorite aunt (my mom's sister), my favorite cousin H. and his partner, B. It was really such a remarkable time!

Picture two weeks later....I just today arrived home from this: SNOW!

My parents, my brother, sister-in-law, and their daughter, (my niece) MEBS and I took a trip to Pigeon Forge, Tennessee for the first part of our Thanksgiving break. As we crossed the mountains to get to our destination, we traveled through a recent snowfall, and the temperatures were still so frigid that the snow had not yet melted. What fun! We took the opportunity to throw a few snowballs and take some photos. It was not too long, and we were hopping back in the warm car to thaw out! It's not every day that Southerners like us get to play in the snow, so we just had to take a few moments. We had a great time, and while we were gone, we celebrated my mother's 70th birthday with a delicious breakfast at a down home restaurant, a visit to a winery (tasting and purchasing!), dinner and a fabulous show. I am so blessed to have a close family with whom I treasure these travels.

This is MEBS with my brother. Below, is my father, a 70 year old child...gathering snow for a snowball...one that he was going to throw at MEBS, just before she got him!

Now matter the weather in your part of the world, I pray that your holidays are blessed this year...in the spirit of our holiday of Thanksgiving, I am thankful this year for family, friends, good times, happiness and heath. I hope that you, too, may experience a feeling of thankfulness, peace and love!

From under the mountain

2008-11-04T22:38:00.004-05:00

It's me. I am here. Currently, I am buried under THE biggest mountain of life...just thought I'd say that I am still alive and kicking...trying to get out to take a deep breath...taking a minute to look around...whew! Back to the grind...sigh.

Case Report MO8 178700

2008-09-22T20:31:00.003-04:00

Date: Septemeber 22, 2008

Time: 9:15 AM

Address: My home, my sanctuary, the place where I am supposed to feel safe...

Incident Type: Burglary

As of 6:15 PM, I was on my way home this evening, and I phoned to tell my husband that I was finally leaving school and coming home...We have Open House at school this week, and I have been spending many hours after school lately getting bulletin boards done, getting my room clean, and trying to make sure that I am ready for the parents. Well, this is what my husband says to me when I call, "Do you know already?"

"About what?" I reply. I have no idea what he is talking about.
"Someone broke into our house this morning. Just come home, " he replies.

I feel sick inside, and almost drive right off of the road. I hurry on home though. Before I get there, I call my parents. My mother, still shaken even though this is 8 hours later, tells me that my child, my sweet precious baby girl was home at the time, and she saw the intruder and called the police. I literally almost threw up right then. I told her I would have to call her back, and I drove like a maniac to get to my child....I just wanted to rest my eyes on her, to hold her, to shield her from this horrible world...She is ok. She doesn't feel like talking about it with me yet, but she did let me hold her for awhile.

The story: This criminal kicked in my front door at 9:15 this morning...fifteen minutes after my husband drove out of our driveway to go to a doctor's appointment. Broad day light. On a busy street. My husband had a thought to set the alarm system, then for some reason decided not to since he was not going to be gone long. This criminal entered our house at the same time the daughter dialed 911 on her cell phone and tiptoed down the stairs from her room to see what made such a horrible noise. You have to understand that she has not strated back to college yet, and she sleeps late most days. She is a ridiculously heavy sleeper. I have said many times that a tornado could sweep the house away, and she would sleep through it all. She did not sleep through this today. She came practically face to face to this man who had made it all the way into my dining room. She screamed when she saw him, and he ran. Thanks and praise to you, God, my Father...I can not say how much has gone through my head about what this man, this criminal, could have done to my baby instead of running. I will have this sick feeling in my stomach from now on about that. The daughter called my parents, and she spoke to my mother. My mom told me that she had no idea who was even calling, the daughter was screaming and crying so much....my mother will remember that call forever. My father beat the police over here trying to see about his first granddaughter. My sweet parents. They come to our rescue so often; I just can not express how much they mean to me.

The reality: They will most likely not catch this man. He was probably on foot. He was brave enough to kick in a dead bolted front door in broad day light on the front of my home while cars drove by and neighbors walked their dogs and people jogged down the street. This street is not secluded or seedy; it is a very nice neighborhood. People are always around, out on the streets, and living their lives happy and unaware of what is lurking. We are not safe anywhere.

The Blessings: My child is alive and safe. My home will survive. The door can be replaced eventually. Nothing was taken. But most importantly, my child lives to see another day.

Please go fnd the ones you love; give them a kiss and a hug...let them know you love them. Then, be certain that you have an alarm system. Finally, pray with all of your might that the darkness will not reach you. I hope you have a wonderful week!

This Time Last Year

2008-09-14T10:29:00.004-04:00

"Thanks for this weekend," he said.

The husband. He was off this entire weekend...an unusual occurance lately since he's been working 6 days a week of 12 hour shifts! We have spent this weekend chatting, snuggling, watching movies, running errands, snuggling some more, and enjoying meals together. Not a particularly exciting weekend for some people, but a time of togetherness for us none the less. He wanted to surprise me by being off 3 days in a row, since my birthday was last Tuesday and I was sick. Sometimes, he can be so sweet. I so completely love this man. I have blogged about my love for him before here...

We realized at some point this weekend what we were doing this time last year.

Before I tell you about that, I will explain the above photo. This was taken of my father, me, and the husband at the Pananma Canal some time during the week of August 4-11, 2007. We went on a week long cruise to Costa Rica, Mexico, and Panama with 20 other family members! We had such a wonderful time...exploring places we had never seen before, enjoying our family, laughing and playing on board the ship... The most surprising thing about the whole trip really is just how rare it was... a-once-in-a-lifetime trip...so rare that I would be able to take off work for the very first week of school (something I will NEVER do again) and for the husband to take an entire week off from the hospital! Remarkably rare! We were just so fortunate to be together on such a fabulous trip!

Nine months before this trip (in December) the husband had brain surgery to remove a softball size benign meningioma. This surgery was shocking, and at best one of the toughest things we'd ever been through! To hear that your husband has a softball size brain tumor and that his brain has shifted causing personality changes- I can not say how scary that all was! He came through the surgery just fine, had a remarkable recovery, and we were just so thankful to God that it was all over. This was actually one of the deciding factors for us when we finally made the decision to go on the cruise. Taking that much time off from work was not an easy task for either of us, but we realized how short life can be, and it is not all about work all the time!

Little did we know that after the cruise and less than a month later, we would both be off from work again, but this time for totally different reasons. In September of 2007, the husband had a follow-up appointment to see how his brain was doing. (He can not have an MRI, since he has a defibrillator for a rare heart condition that was discovered in 2006.) So, when he went in for his CT scan, they discovered that he had another golf ball size tumor in exactly the same place...the nightmare was reoccurring! Still benign...still needed to be removed. We were told the first time that this kind of tumor is very slow growing, but how it grew back this fast was a mystery to all of us.

So, this time last year, I was watching the husband go through literal hell once again. The second time was so much more difficult for him- more pain, more swelling, more bruising, more weakness...just all around more difficult. He stayed one entire day and night in ICU just after the surgery, and then they sent him home. (I know. That's what I thought too. WAY too soon!) I am not a nurse. How was I going to be able to take care of him? I really needed to get back to work. So far, in six weeks of school, I had missed two and a half of them! I did the best I could...scheduling people that I love to come and check on him, make him lunch, and keep him busy during the day...and make him rest from time to time until I could get home from work. He also experienced some depression during this time, and that was a very tough thing to see. This man, one of the strongest men I know, was weak, sickly, slow, and so very fragile. He was missing so much work, after missing so much work so recently for other surgeries and the cruise...he actually lost half of his pay for awhile since he had not had time to build his sick leave back up...and we began having serious financial difficulties from which we have yet to completely recover.

One year later...we realize how blessed we are...God took care of us...everyone prayed for us, and the entire situation left us completely aware how much the hand of God is on our lives. Though I often do not deserve it, He takes care of me and loves me in spite of my many faults. As I look back at that time, I know that prayers of many sustained us. I did not fall apart. I was not sick with worry. I felt an unusual peace...the kind of peace that can only come from God. He has carried us through some of the most difficult things, and for this I will be eternally thankful.

One year later, the husband is strong and healthy once again. His scar has healed. His memory has returned. His personality is back to normal (if it ever really was normal to begin with!) He is kinder and more tender to me. He is the man I love...the one that shares my home, my bed, my heart. I thank God for him. I know things could have turned out differently, and when I look at him now, I realize how truly blessed I am...

Such a difference one year can make.

Right now, I am going to go climb back into bed to snuggle the man that I love once again...and continue the togetherness of our weekend. I hope you are having a wonderful weekend too! Until next time, I wish you much laughter, love, happiness and many, many blessings.

Today

2008-09-11T23:09:00.007-04:00

Today.

I can not think of words to say to express my feelings on this day. Someone I visit from time to time said so eloquently what my heart feels...please go there and take a moment to read Golightly's beautiful post and to remember. Then, follow the link and read the poem. You will be saddened, shaken, moved...

I could tell you a long and ridiculous story of what I was doing that day...but I will keep it short.
Let's just say I worked for an insensitive administrator who thought it was best not to tell any of us about the terrorist attacks. Yes, any of us, including adults- teachers and students...she told no one. I did not know until I was on my way home that afternoon at 4:30. I pulled my car over on the side of the road to listen to a sketchy news report, and instantly knew something was not right. I called my mom on my cell phone to ask what was going on. She was upset because she called the school to talk to me and was assured that we were being told. Nope. Not me.

Today is almost over here. It is just past 11 pm...I am working on more school work and wishing I could go to sleep. My thoughts and prayers today have been with those that can never really forget. Our world has changed...our lives are all vastly different than they would have been had this unspeakable tragedy not happened. But, I do not remember everyday. I live my hectic life. I worry about ridiculous things. I stay busy. I do not grieve every single moment. I did not lose what many lost that day. So, I am pausing once more just before midnight to pray once more for those that still hurt.

I hope that your day has been blessed with freedom, safety, and love.

Hugging

2008-09-08T17:51:00.004-04:00

Hugging something other than a tree.
Came home from work today...sick.
Apparently, there is a stomach virus going around our middle school.
I was not aware of this...until today.
Lovely.

Image credit.

I am in need of a new camera, all my own.
Mine is currently on vacation in the daughter's purse.
She happens to be in Daytona Beach, Florida with my parents and my favorite cousin.
My camera has been on hiatus with the daughter for some time now.
This is why I have not posted any photos lately.
In my sleepy sick dreams, I dreamt that the husband bought this for me.
Tomorrow is my birthday.
I am staying home from work...sick.
What a nice gift that would make.
Not likely though.
One can dream, right?

Peace Summit 2008

2008-08-30T14:36:00.005-04:00

Three full weeks of school...exhaustion, stress, ridiculous expectations, literal mountains of paperwork, lesson plans, meetings, meetings, meetings, and did I mention ridiculous expectations??? Despite all of the hardships of my career, every once in awhile something like this makes it all worth it...

Yesterday, I had THE best day with my entire cluster of students...so much so that I wondered if I should be getting paid to have this much fun! Of course, I should...everyday in education should be like that. Sadly, it is not...but fortunately I have had enough days like this one to keep me in the profession for the last 13 years.

The scenario: Mayor Magallano (that would be me) has called for a "town hall" style meeting with all of the animal groups that live in the Segowlee Cantonment, an army base in India (the fictional setting for Rudyard Kipling's classic "Rikki Tikki Tavi"). Apparently, a severe conflict has erupted among the animal groups, and some loss of life has even occured. The insurrection groups involve: the mongooses, the cobras, the tailorbirds, the muskrats, and the humans. These groups have been invited to come to the Peace Summit to present their positions on the violent happenings in our cantonment and their proposals for a non-violent solution to this conflict. The Town Council shall listen to the proposals and select the best one- the one that would be appealing and fair to all of the animals as well as the one that furthers our vision of non-violence.

The reality: Each student in all four of my classes selected a card from an envelope that put them in one of the five groups listed above. Next, for three days prior to the Peace Summit, my students planned, prepared, researched, and put together such wonderful speeches. Yesterday, our Peace Summit happened in each of my four classes. I had no idea what to expect, but I was hoping for the best, after all, I am Mayor Magallano, and I was looking for a non-violent solution to the conflict. What I got was far superior to any of my hopes and expectations! My students were passionate; they were cheerleaders for their animal groups; they thought on their feet, answered questions from the Town Council and a "reporter" guest (our Instructional Lead Teacher came in for a visit to watch the proceedings during 4th period), and most of all, they were critically thinking to solve problems and come to a peaceful solution. In each class, the Town Council deliberated at the end of the presentation and certainly selected the group with the best argument. At first, I feared that the most popular students would naturally be selected as the winners, but time and time again, I was amazed that the best and strongest arguments were chosen as the winners no matter who was in that group. One of the greatest things was many of my special needs students (in two out of my four classes) had speaking parts, and they completely rocked every time! I was glowing with pride and enthusiasm...

The Results: Besides having the time of our lives, my students were able to see outside of this classic story, into the nature of conflict and problem solving...they related this happening to the world around us- conflict in their own lives as well as, in the global community. All day, the kids were buzzing with excitement- in the morning when they saw the room rearranged for our proceedings, during the day, between classes, and well into the latter part of the afternoon. I heard normal chatter as students walked by my room, but it was geared to things like, "Which group were you in?" and "Who won in your class?" During my last class of the day, (which is not an academic class, but a remediation class called Focus) the students came in literally begging to do the presentations again. We spent the next 40 minutes just having a conversation about why the experience was so meaningful to them, and how they could relate it to their lives...I was feeling on top of the world.

The Reality Part 2: After all was said and done for the day, I had to post my grades before I left the building. We had approximately one day to get this done...and obviously, I was far to busy throughout this particular day! So, needless to say, I did not leave the building last night until 6:15 pm! I was so quickly knocked back down to earth and to the mountains of paperwork I spoke of earlier! Thank God this is a long weekend, and I can rest up for another wonderful middle school experience next week!

Thanks for letting me gush about such a rare fun-filled middle school day...
I sincerely hope your Labor Day weekend is filled with fun and relaxation!

Image credit.

Wonderful Weekend

2008-08-16T22:24:00.005-04:00

A full week of school is under my belt...not such a bad beginning. Class sizes are rather small (largest class right now has 20 kids), and soon to increase...no complaints, just happy that the weekend is here!

The husband and I have been glued to the television this last week, watching the Olympic Games from Beijing, China. Our favorite events so far have been...SWIMMING! We have yelled and cheered for all of the USA team members, but especially Michael Phelps. He is a sight to behold!

In fact, he is swimming soon, so I gotta go...just wanted to check in and have a look around to see what was going on in the blogosphere...Hope your weekend is exciting and relaxing!

Image credit

A Few Things...Here and There.

2008-08-08T23:16:00.006-04:00

Whew!
I have never been so glad that it is Friday! This was my first full week back to work after summer (we had five pre-planning days to get ready for the kids)...and I have had students for the last two days. Initially, I thought what in the world are we going to do for five days...and then I realized today that I still had not unpacked two of my boxes for the desk in my room! Ha. Where did all of that time go? I used every single minute to prepare my room, meet with co-workers, and just do whatever needed to be done. Not a sinlge minute was wasted, and yet I could have used a few more before they arrived on Thursday!

Back to school is one of my least favorite times as a teacher...learning the names of anywhere from 90-125 students is tough...dealing with scheduling, setting a firm foundation of discipline but at the same time making them feel welcome and that this is going to be a great year- a delicate balance...my aching body getting used to me standing mostly all day once again, and the bladder issues of retraining it to wait until I get a break to go!

So far, these last two days have gone smoothly, and I adore most of my students- they seem an eager bunch and spirited in all of the right ways! I am sure that I will have tons of middle school fun to share throughout this year.

On another note, my parents' house is up for sale! I have not yet actually seen the sign in the yard, but I know it is there...realtors have shown it twice in the last week, and my parents have busied themselves packing up the normal clutter of living in a home for 32 years...making it look more presentable and ready for possible buyers. The idea of this still tugs at my heart and makes me feel weepy, but I am really ok with it...much more so than last Saturday!

I have no special plans this weekend, and for that I am ever grateful! I have a bit of school work to do- work on lesson plans for the last part of August (yes, I am actually ahead fo the game!) and perhaps see a movie with the daughter...if she will go with me. The husband has to work, and other than some light house cleaning, I would love to rest up for next week...our first full week of school!
I hope your weekend is filled with wonderful things and doing just what you would like to do! Enjoy it...

A Brand New Day

2008-08-03T08:17:00.004-04:00

I have read and re-read my previous post so many times it is ridiculous...it is almost like I am trying to get used to the idea of my parents totally changing life as they know it and selling everything...like perhaps if I read it once more, it will just become a part of me, or my brain will finally wrap around it all. This is progress...slow, but getting there. It will be ok!

I am feeling differently today...right this minute...a new feeling is stirring inside of me...

Today is a brand new day...Sunday...and I feel blessed in spite of my emotional outbrust on Saturday. I am a few hours away from going into my Father's house to worship Him...to sing out my praises and to give thanks for the blessings that I have...and I do have SO many! My tears have dried, and my eyes are less swollen, and I believe that it will all be alright. I really had to think about how much worse it could have been...this situation makes me sad, but it is in no way similar to the horrors that other people deal with on a daily basis. I will praise my God for the parents He gave me, for the wonderful life that He blessed us with, and for loving me in spite of my many, many faults.

While I am at church, I am also going to witness the baby dedication of one of the grandsons of my very best friend in the whole wide world...the parents of this precious boy are going to publicly dedicate their son to our Father...I know I will shed a few more tears, but this time in pure JOY!

I hope you will be blessed today in your own lives...

Soft and Sad Eyes

2008-08-02T02:48:00.013-04:00

It is 3:02 Saturday morning as I begin to type this....I woke up to use the restroom (I do that most evenings) and I could not fall back asleep (I do not do this most evenings).

My insomnia has not returned (hopefully) although I am feeling so worried about my parents it might just resurface...here's hoping that getting this off of my chest will do the trick and the insomnia will stay far away! My eyes are soft looking at these people (my parents) in this precious photo....my eyes are also swollen and moist from the tears I love to shed. No, nothing majorly earth-shattering has happened, but I am mourning to say the least.

I had a conversation with my father earlier this evening, which left him unable to continue talking to me for the moment; he had to pass the phone to my mother, saying, "You talk to her; I just can't..." while he lost the cool control of himself that he always has. This left me sobbing. My father is a proud, strong, and wonderful man...I do not remember a time when he has ever lost his emotional control. I just can not emphasize enough how much I love this man and my mother...I have always said that I could not have chosen better parents if given the choice and that I have been blessed beyond measure in them. Everyone deserves parents like mine! The main point of this conversation that rendered my father unable to continue talking to me was the state of my parent's finances, and a meeting that they had with a financial advisor.

First, you have to know that before he retired, my father was a banker. He worked himself up from being a teller to a Vice-President of the bank he worked for his entire adult life. He is a wiz with numbers (I did NOT inherit this!) and he always prided himself in making sound financial investments and decisions. As a banker, he planned well for his retirement, and they have been living quite comfortably for the last twelve years. They own two houses- one they live in, one they vacation in and rent out; they have a lovely, well-maintained pool and yard (my parents both so enjoy working in this yard, taking amazing care of it by themselves); they own several deeds with a vacation resort company (it's how we travel so often to the beaches and such); they are also quite genereous with their children and practically anyone else that needs help.

After the meeting with this financial advisor, basically this man told my parents that they are going to have to sell pretty much everything, move into a much smaller house, cash in a huge insurance policy (what they were planning to leave my brothers and myself as our inheritance) and drastically reduce the amount of money that they live off of each month...my father's retirement is simply running out. The economy has reeked havoc on his investments...He went into the meeting thinking he had a good three years at least before this happens; only to discover that no, it is more like twelve months...one year to toally alter life as they know it.

My father insists that he is ok with this, just momentarily emotional while talking to me...my mother is shockingly alright...in fact, when she took the phone, she calmly explained her point of view, "Everything in this house is just stuff...it is not important to me....all that matters is that I have your father by my side. We can live anywhere and get through anything if we are together." As I am typing this, I just can not stop my flow of tears! Why am I crying? So many reasons! I could not even utter words by this time on the phone I was sobbing so hard. My mother said, "We need not worry about what is done...we just all need to be concerned with our salvation- knowing God and living the best way we can from here on out...; she continued, "I do not want you to worry about us or to cry...everything will be fine...". This is what my life is always like- they comfort me, when I should be comforting them.

I am not mourning the loss of material things....I am truthfully sad for them to sell the house they live in- it's where I grew up; it's where we lived when the daughter was born...it is THE place I know of as home, even though I have not lived there for years. I watched a quirky movie last week that expresses some of what I have felt about this house...in Garden State the main character at one point talks about returning home- this place that you have always known and loved- only to discover that it is not your home anymore...and feeling a loss in that. I remember that feeling...when we (the husband, daughter, and I) moved out, and would come back to visit my parents, I felt like a piece of my childhood was lost to me. So, yes, I am sad about the house. But, it is more than that really...my parents are vulnerable...defenseless against something I can not name...they are human...fragile...and incapable of stopping this. To me, they have always been invincible...unshakable...they recuse me when I am hurting or in need...and I can not rescue them. I can not save them from this mess. I have my own financial mess...I guess I also feel guilty in a sense...since so often they have helped me with financial stuff...paid for things when I could not or loaned money and not said a single word when I had difficulty paying it back...This is no one's fault. It just is. I know everything will be fine...that is just how my parents are. But, whew. I can not stop the tears. This just should not have happened.

My sweet mother, who is filled with wisdom, said, "I did not call you up to tell you that your father was dead...that is the only reason you should cry...so stop your tears now. " She just made me sob even harder. I can NOT imagine this world without them.

It will be ok. I will stop the tears eventually and move on. This is not the end of the world, as my mother likes to say. It just feels like it (sort of), but I know it is not. I also always know things could be worse. This was just a shock to me, to my heart, and my brain. It will be fine.

Thank you for allowing me to invade the early morning hours of the blogosphere to unload this heavy burden. I would like to say that I feel better already, but I would be lying. My swollen eyes actually ache and my head is about to split open! I am off to take some headache medicine and then try to go back to sleep. It is now 4:31. I will rest on my pillow with a song from Garden State in my head...it is a love song really, but some of the lyrics always make me think of my parents...

"I drink good coffee every morning / Comes from a place that's far away/ And when I'm done I feel like talking / Without you here there is less to say / I don't want you thinking I'm unhappy / What is closer to the truth / That if I lived till I was 102 / I just don't think I'll ever get over you..."

P.S. I did not type this as one big gigantic paragraph...I had skipped lines periodically throughout, but it will NOT publish the way that I typed it *grrr*

So please forgive the big LONG mess. I am too tired to sit here and worry about it. I need rest...

P.S.S. That lovely photo of my parents is from their wedding day, 50 years ago in May 2009!

BSM: Reflections at Sunrise

2008-07-28T11:18:00.008-04:00

Tracy at Mother May I is reflecting on things for Best Shot Monday this week, so I took cues from her and composed my own list of current reflections.

Just returned from my last hurrah of the summer, as I start back to work / school this week on Thursday (yikes!!), so most of my pondering happened in the face of this glorious place- the crashing waves, the sucking wet sand, the delirious laughter of children playing in the nearby pool...what a place to reflect! This is Daytona Beach, Florida...my best shot above is at sunrise on our last morning after spending a week there.

While there, I reflected upon the following:

* going back to work this week- trying to gear myself up for a less stressful year...hoping and praying that all will go well with new administration and new students...I took deep breaths while trying to soak in this sea thinking that would rid me of all of my worries...

* my parents- growing older and more fragile- my father celebrated his 70th birthday while we were at the beach...70 years old. That sounds so old...they are such active and busy people that they do not act like that age, so it is easy for me to forget...I already ache for the day that I will have let go of them...*sigh*I can not even think that thought all the way through...but I have just in the last few years really realized the years in them...the photo below is my father with his two grandgirls- my daughter (the oldest grand child) on the right and MEB, my brother's daughter (the youngest grand child) on the left.

* how fast children grow up- the daughter just turned 19 this summer, and we were all talking about how she would be 20 years old this time next summer...(*oh, my heart*) During this conversation, all of a sudden the daughter realized that MEB will soon be 6 (in November), will start kindergarten in a week or so, and will be almost 7 this time next summer...(boy was that shocking for her!) I told her that is what it has been like for me to watch her grow so very fast before my eyes...that is one little girl that the daughter simply adores...it is so nice for the cousins to be so close; when the daughter is around, MEB will not have much to do with the rest of us...it is really quite touching, and I hope MEB will still love the daughter that much even when she gets older and older...The photos below are from MEB's first slumber party! My brother, sister-in-law, and their kids were in Daytona with us (we stayed in different sides of the resort), and MEB got it into her head that she was going to spend the night with us...so the daughter planned a slumber party with dinner, games, painting nails, make-up, pop-corn, late night television (Disney Channel), and much much snuggling...it was so sweet!

MEB is wearing my shoes in the first shot...a sure sign of growing up- wearing heels! Nana (my mother) was our nail tech for the evening in the next shots...she was so gracious in applying polish to everyone's fingernails and toenails...with such skill and no complaints! And of course, MEB wanted to sleep in the daughter's bed...

* lastly, I reflected upon the future- right now there are many uncertainties for us- financial difficulties, the daughter's college / job (or lack there of), where life will take us throughout the next several months...I continued to take deep breaths and realized that God is in control of it all, and I need to trust in Him...I took this last photo as a sign that all will be well! (not sure if you can see the rainbow, but it is there...His promise.)

Check out other stories and photos of reflections for this week here. Hope you have a great week!

Summer Sky

2008-07-17T21:52:00.005-04:00

..."Sweet days of summer, the jasmine's in bloom. July is dressed up and playing her tune.

And I come home from a hard day's work, and you're waiting there, not a care in the world.

See the smile a waitin' in the kitchen, food cookin' and the plates for two.

See the arms that reach out and hold me, in the evening when the day is through.

Summer breeze, makes me feel fine

Blowin' through the jasmine in my mind..."

Seals and Croft, 1972.

Exactly two weeks...and my summer will end.

*sigh*

I know I have lamented about the boredom I felt for a few days, but sheesh...the thought of going back to work still hurts...new students, new administration, proving myself all over again...in just two more weeks.

I am leaving Saturday for my last hurrah- a second beach trip with the daughter and my parents. The person I feel sorrier for is the husband...he can not get off work to go with us. Like so many others, he does not get a summer break. So, I should suck it up and not complain about it being over. It will be good to get into a busy routine again.

Until then...

"summer breeze, makes me feel fine...blowin' through the jasmine in my mind...".

Two for Tuesday

2008-07-15T12:38:00.005-04:00

One:
Ok, so I missed BSM...how did that happen? I am on summer break, and while this is the most luxuriously lazy time of my life, I sort of lose all track of days...I am fully aware that it is 2008, but I can't easily recall what day of what month it is...I did realize that it is July (mostly thanks to the 4th of July celebrations), but I completely missed Monday. Yesterday was kind of a blur to me...so here is what I would have posted on Monday!

BLUEBERRIES...it was blueberry picking time on Friday morning. My friend, Natalie, invited us to tag along with her and several of her friends to a nearby blueberry field. So many little ones and their moms...the daughter and I enjoyed the frenzy of it all...lost buckets, toddlers picking up blueberries off of the ground, and eating handfuls rather than putting them in the bucket...I laughed so much....We had such a nice time.

This is a bad picture of the husband's dessert last night...the daughter made a delicious chicken stir fry with Thai rice for dinner, and I made a light cream to go with these luscious berries. I have also found several not-so-good-for-you blueberry recipes that I will try over the next several months with the blueberries I put in the freezer. For this week's Best Shot Monday, Tracey talked about the "earth's currency" and I think these blueberries are exactly that...for more BSM photos and stories check out her place.

Two:
Another wonderfully fun thing that we did recently...a day of swimming and several games of Candy Land afterwards. How long has it been since you have played this game? Well, for me, since I have a nineteen-year-old, it has been quite a while! Of course, I remembered how to play; it is so simple, but things on the board game have changed a bit. There are bridges and people that I did not recognize...including the King and the Candy Man. What fun. MEB is such a delight, and is totally in love with playing games. She is also very good at most of them...she wins more often than not. Oh, how I love this little girl. You can read more about her here and here. And even here. She makes my heart sing... I love that my parents keep her, especially during the summer, since I get to see her more often. She will start kindergarten in the fall...and most likely will not need to go back to Nana and Papa's house to be kept since school is all day. We are all struggling with that...her growing up and not being a baby anymore. *sigh*
So, I will enjoy many more games of Candy Land and Monopoly Junior while I can!

No BSM: Camera Missing in Action

2008-07-08T00:20:00.003-04:00

The daughter is away...with my camera. All of my weekend photos are still on the camera, so I have no shots to post for today. *sigh*

Oh well, just as an update...
I found a book with which to busy myself over the last day or so...
The 4th of July weekend was lovely- swimming and eating dinner at my parents...
Another cookout at a cousin's house with many, many of the other cousins that I so rarely see.
Time with my husband, as he had several days off in a row. That almost NEVER happens, so I was giddy with snuggling and early bed times...(that totally helps my insomnia!)

Speaking of bed times, I just wanted to let you know that I was off of the couch...
I am headed to bed, but I will post some photos when the camera comes in from life on the road with a crazy teenage girl.

Hope your week is wonderful...
Check out the really great Best Shot Monday photos and stories at Melody's place- Slurping Life!

Pity Party for One

2008-07-02T22:31:00.004-04:00

Fat.
Bored.
Incapable of getting off the couch.
Daydreams about things that should be done, and then does not do them.
Wakes up ridiculously late, then naps off and on throughout the day.

They say confession is good for the soul....

I am not good (REALLY no good) without the routine of the school year. As a teacher, I need the meetings, the bells, the paper work, and the lesson plans...Summer causes me to wallow in a pit of quicksand, slowly drowning...to the point of heartburn...oh, maybe that was what I ate for dinner. Glutton.

My mother used to say, when I complained of boredom, "Oh, you are bored? Well, I have something you can do..." It was never something wonderfully exciting like shrinky dinks or a game of Parcheesi. No, it was scrubbing the bathrooms, or folding laundry. I need a summer job, I think. Perhaps I will look in to that for next summer. This one is almost over. *sigh*

Do not get me wrong...I enjoy the beach...the sand ,the surf, the sounds. I need that as well- for my sanity. And summer is just about the only time I get that...It's just that in between the beach trips and a few other things that I do over the summer, I get lost. Lost aimlessly wandering through my days wondering what to do...I have no plan for the days. No little ones to chase after. No schedules to keep. The days are endless open plains...I know what you are thinking...you would love to have just ONE day like this, and what the hell am I belly aching about anyway?! Well, excuse me. This is a pity party for one, and I get to cry if I want to.

Perhaps my hormones are out of whack, and I would feel better after a good night's sleep. Yes.

*yawn*

Tomorrow is another day, and I will find something constructive to do with my time. I will surely let you know what that is...but in the meantime, thank you for having such a great life and for blogging about it, so I can at least fill up a few hours each day. Loser.

Image credit

BSM: A Letter to my Niece

2008-06-30T12:30:00.007-04:00

Dear MEB,

You are getting older, so fast I can hardly believe it. I am so happy that you still find wonder in the world, that you are not scared to be yourself, that you march to your very own beat...

You make me smile with your laughter....the way your sweet nose crinkles up, while your eyes practically squeeze shut, and your laughs come out in precious tiny gasps. When you wrap your little arms around me, I want to stop time to savor the seconds of your youth.

As I look at you this summer, and think of summers past, I am amazed at your fearlessness in the water- swimming without any floats, jumping off of the diving board, and swimming the full length of the pool by yourself. I am shocked by the length of your legs- so long and lovely, ready to carry you away into the world. You make my head spin with all the wonderful things that you know...the questions you think to ask...the answers you seek...I am knocked out a thousand times over listening to you read your favorite book.

When you start school this fall, a whole new world will open up to you...there will be things you already know, but also much, much more that you don't. Won't it be fun to make new friends, learn something new each and every day, and discover a brand new place? I will be excited to hear about all of the fabulous fun things you do each day!

I hope you realize, dear one, how very much you are loved...from the first moment I ever held you in my arms, my heart was swollen with love...and now these days, I am near bursting!

I love you, sweet girl.

Your Andi

For more Best Shot Monday photos and stories, head over to Melody's this week!

She's in Ireland!

2008-06-24T21:03:00.003-04:00

Oh, thank God...my very best friend in the whole wide world, Sallee, made it to Belfast!! She finally posted a message to say that she and M, her husband, made it safely. I have been worrying and praying that all would be well. I have checked her blog a million times lately to see if she's posted any news. Whew! At least, she's there. I will spend every free moment this next week checking for updates and photos. She is planning on blogging about her visit, so when you have a minute, check it out here.

Image credit.

BSM: This is Summer

2008-06-23T11:24:00.004-04:00

" Out of the Sea Endlessly"

Ode to Walt Whitman

There are some things too big to fit on paper.

What if words could describe the ripples of the sea?

And if there were words, what would call us to it?

The heartbeat of the sea,

rocking, spilling its secrets onto the shore.

The ocean's pent up emotions pour out in the surge-

the surge, the surge, the "procreant urge..."

We are drawn to the erratic "convulsive breaths" of the sea

the swollen moon above

the gulls mourning their losses

the sucking sand pulling us in

as the sea whispers.

July 2007

I wrote this poem last summer as part of a poetry class for my master's degree. I try to describe in mere words why I love the sea so much...there really aren't words.

This photo is from this last week at the beach...when I look at it, I can hear the sounds, smell the surf, and feel the sucking of the sand...this is summer to me.

Keep reading below to find out more about the sights and sounds of this trip.

Also, check out more summertime shots for BSM.

Images of Summer Fun- This is Vacation

2008-06-23T09:39:00.014-04:00

We just returned from a week at the beach...Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. We had a wonderful time-resting, relaxing, summering away our time in a lovely place! This is me with my father and the daughter... (I am HATING my Sandra Dee hair...it is courtesy of the sun, the wind, the sweat, and my inability to stop tucking it behind my ears!)

This is our view from the 9th floor balcony... it also shows our path to the beach. We take the wooden deck and the steps all the way down to the sand. Not too far, and such a view!

The daughter and my most FAVORITE cousin, H. sipping a delicious tropical drink on the beach...H. was our bartender for the week, and I must confess, we all spent a great deal of time sipping delicious concoctions!

Typically on beach trips, my father and I get up each morning before the sunrise to walk several miles down the beach...this is a tradition for us. Every time we visit a beach (at least twice a year) we do this together...daddy calls it "our time." This tradition is one of the things I treasure most about our trips. This is time for the two of us to talk, discuss hard things, remember good times, or just walk in silence listening to the waves crash...priceless time. This year, H joined us. We had just as many wonderful and funny conversations! It is just such a nice time on the beach before the day really begins...
This photo, however, was taken on one of our afternoon walks- just before a storm came. H. and I were skipping over some water, trying not to get our feet wet, as the daughter captured this silly shot. I love the sky here; you can see the storm brewing!

This is my sweet mother doing what she enjoys best- reading! Of course, I was on the love seat nearby doing something that I enjoy too- reading also! I just looked over at her, and the sight was so precious to me that I just HAD to snap this shot. Although, in a few short moments, I looked over again ,and THIS is what I saw:

LOL! I am not kidding- there is like five minutes between shots! When I showed them to her later, she laughed and said, "I could not keep my eyes open...I just needed a short little nap!" Two activities that my mother and I both enjoy-reading and napping!

This is the daughter on our night to cook. We traveled this year with my parents, my Aunt P, and my cousin H. (my husband and H's other half had to stay home and work) Other than the evenings we go out to eat, we each take a night to make dinner. The daughter was head chef and I was her sous-chef! We decided to make beer battered shrimp and chicken (since I do not eat shrimp). A nice summer salad was the perfect accompaniment to the heavier fried foods. Everyone said her meal was better than any we'd eaten so far. Watch out Food Network, we may just have another famous chef in our midst! (By the way, it TOTALLY cracks me up that she is wearing a field day t-shirt from her 6th grade year in elementary school.)

This is my plate piled high with yummy things! I ate chicken, but the salad is my favorite- with mandarin oranges, strawberries, toasted almonds, and poppy seed dressing. DELICIOUS!

An interesting ending to our trip this year included a visit to a local gay bar called Rainbow House to see a drag show on our last night. (H. and his other half B. have visited this bar before.) This is after a few drinks, as you can tell.

This is H. with a lovely lady from the show...This was a first for me, but we had a blast!

Our last morning on the beach...the daughter and I took a sneak peek one last time, while everyone was inside checking the drawers, cabinets, and closets to be sure we had gotten everything packed up. We needed one last glimpse of the wonderful sea...

This is Vacation!

2008-06-18T21:31:00.004-04:00

Taking a brisk walk for miles down the ocean front before sunrise...
Lazily resting by the sea...
Lazily resting by the pool...
Taking a dip in the refreshing water...
Eating delicious sea food...
Playing cards and dominos...
Taking a nap after all of the hard work we've done...
Lazily resting on the couch inside the resort...
Laughing until I can not see...
"Yawn...my goodness....it must be time for bed!"

I am having a great time at Myrtle Beach, SC. Be home soon...pictures later!
Hope your week is going nicely...

Insomnia Update: ZZZZZZ...

2008-06-13T22:31:00.003-04:00

Bliss once again.
Sleep has returned.
Not completely full force, mind you, but I have again visited the Land of Nod.
This is a place that I love; I did not realize how much I would miss it when I was away.
I am hopeful that our beach trip this coming week will bring it back completely!

Hope everyone is doing well, and prepared to have a GREAT weekend and Father's Day!

BSM: Parenting Imperfections

2008-06-09T14:43:00.005-04:00

Parenting imperfections???
How much time do you have? I have been a parent for some years now (19!), and I have had countless moments of imperfection....too many to confess in just one simple post! Evidently, I REALLY need to tune in to the blog series that Tracey mentioned- Brene Brown's The Gift of Imperfect Parenting. I have never before thought of my imperfections as a gift. What I hope this series does for me is confirm that most mothers do in fact struggle with the uncertainty of what we are doing...I hope that I am not alone in my worries. I am the mother of a head strong, lost, and struggling nineteen year old daughter, and I OFTEN HAVE NO CLUE WHAT I AM DOING AS A PARENT!!! Some days, I want to stand on the roof tops and yell, "HELP!!!" I know I have made mistakes, errors in judgment, and had some of the worst imperfect moments...I am certainly planning to tune in later today. I may even purchase the CD! I am certain that this is something I will need to revisit- LOL! All in all, I hope to learn something that will benefit me as a mother.

The picture I chose as my best shot is one from a series of shots that I took awhile ago for a class when I was getting my master's degree. It is symbolic of many of the struggles I have had as a parent of a teenager in today's society...she is faced almost daily with access to drugs, alcohol, and sex, you name it...these issues are present in the lives of our children, even when we think they are not. Many of these things blindsided me as a mother. Even though (I confess) I was a rowdy teenager myself, it was a completely different world then. It is worse now. I continue to hope that better days will come for our youth- that we as a society will recognize our shortcomings as parents and community members, and stand up for what our children need. May God bless all of you that are newly starting on your journey as parents...I pray your years are a piece of cake!!
For more Best Shot Monday photos, take some time to visit Mother May I.

Sleepless in the South

2008-06-07T09:37:00.005-04:00

Sometimes late in the summer I have bouts of insomnia...usually it is because I start having massive anxitety about school starting again. When I am able to actually fall off into dreamland, I have nightmares about showing up for school on the first day in my pajamas, without shoes, in the most God-awful clothes or that I have forgotten completely how to teach...

Well, in case you do not have a calendar handy or you just woke up from a coma, it is not the end of the summer. My summer JUST began. And I can not sleep.

First, I should confess how much I LOVE to sleep. When I was pregnant with our daughter, the husband (who was then the boyfriend) would often say, "Are you sure you are ok? I have NEVER met anyone who could sleep as much as you do..." When I was a young child, my mother would put me to bed so early that the sun had not gone down, and I would exclaim, "But I still hear kids playing outside!" She would pull the room darkening shades down, tell me a story, and allow me to drift off into dreamland, because she KNEW without a FULL night's sleep, I was a total grump! On the other hand, in my college days, I could totally pull off all nighters...remember I was a new mother, married, and living in my parent's home back in those days. Staying up all hours of the night was expected with a new baby and school work! Even later, when we moved into our first home, I spent MANY nights up into the wee hours of the morning writting papers and reading class assigned literature. Somehow, my body, the older I have gotten, just can NOT do this anymore. It's like I hit some magic age and I literally start yawning at 11:00. This last year, I made it to bed earlier and earlier every night...and just LOVED it. I adore my luxurious 800 thread count sheets, my comfy mattresses, snuggling with my husband and our cats...I crave our bed when I have been out of it for too long. Often on Saturday mornings, if I have nothing particular planned and if the phone does not ring and if everyone leaves me alone, I will sleep ALL afternoon. No joke. Sad, but selfishly true.

So, all of this being said...I can not sleep.

Today is Saturday. I have nothing particular to do today. My husband is at work. My daughter is asleep. The phone has not rung, and yet I am AWAKE. I have been awake since 8:30 am. Before that, I was awake when the husband's alarm clock went off at 5:15 am. Before that I had just come to bed at 2:30...This is how last night went for me:

12:00 mindnight- the husband kisses me good night.

1:18- I am reading blogs, trying to get sleepy. I still feel WIDE AWAKE.

(by the way, if you have not done so, check out The Pioneer Woman. I found her on someone else's blog, and she is a HOOT! I read her entire story of how she met Marlboro Man. It will make you swoon...)

2:30- I decide this is ridiculous. If I just go on in and get into bed, sleep WILL come.

2:37- I notice that the neighbor's dogs are barking AGAIN.

(now, I am a pet LOVER; I have five cats. But they do NOT bark. They have five dogs. And they bark! Every single night. One of them starts barking, and then it turns into sort of a howl. Our bedroom, unfortunately for me, is on the side of the house that is closest to the area where the dogs are. The husband is a bit deaf; he wears two hearing aids- from YEARS of damage from being a musician in a band- he does not wear said hearing aids to sleep; he can NOT hear the dogs. They only disturb ME.)

2:45- dogs are still barking...I am still awake. I have begun to toss and turn.

2:53- I must be sort of asleep, because I do not really hear the dogs anymore, but I do hear this tiny whistle sound...it is MY NOSE....like I am having some sinus issue and can not fully breathe out of my right nostril. I get up. I blow my nose, and blow my nose...trying to make the whistle stop!

3:17- I am begging God at this point to help me sleep...it must work for an hour or so.

5:00- For some reason, my eyes fling open, and I think, "his alarm will go off in a few minutes..."

5:15- The alarm goes off...he gets up, and gets ready for work. The dogs are barking again.

6:15-The husband comes to kiss me goodbye; he is leaving for work.

And then from 6:15 until 8:30 or so, BLISS! I must have slept...I did not recall it, so I must not have enjoyed it. And now I am AWAKE again.

This is very similar to how my last SEVERAL nights have gone...I do try to read different things to help sleep come- a mystery that my mom gave me (I finished it in one night) a school related book about pedagogy (would usually put anyone to sleep! not me), so last night, I tried reading blogs. No such luck. Any ideas? Any suggestions?? This is far too early in my summer to start having this problem. I NEED to sleep.

I am holding onto hope that when my family and I go to the beach- that wonderul place that I LOVE more than anywhere in the world- I will be so at peace and relaxed, I will be able to sleep. We leave on Father's Day! Here's hoping...

I hope your weekend is filled with bliss and epecially SLEEP!

Image credit.
P.S. I am going to read the article related to this image...it is about sleep disorders and allergies. hummm...very interesting!

Theme Thursday: Time

2008-06-05T18:08:00.007-04:00

Relay for Life Torch Garden- 2008
(each torch is in honor of a cancer survivor or in memory of a cancer victim)

I took these photos one month ago at our county's 2008 Relay for Life...where participants celebrate...remember...and fight back in honor of cancer survivors and victims.

A woman with whom I work named Deborah saw this same sight one year ago, when she walked in the survivor's lap, celebrating and fighting along with the rest of us, determined not to let cancer win...only to discover several months later, her cancer had returned with a vengence.

What a difference a year makes.

How can we know what will happen in only a year's time? What will happen to us in another year? What pains, sorrows, frustrations, or disappointments will we know in this next year? How do we deal with this uncertainty; what is it that keeps us sane in the face of such odds? Have you ever felt the weight of sorrow for someone else...just not really knowing what to do for them to ease this pain?

My heart has been heavy for Deborah this year. I have done so little for her, and I feel ashamed because of this. I shy away because of my own fears...but time is ticking. I hear it in my ears.

My mother suffered with breast cancer 14 years ago. She is now in remission, and I worry every day that, like Deborah, this might be the year it returns. Tick tock...

My cousin, Carolyn, also had breast cancer, and like Deborah, it has returned and spread. She takes each day one day at a time...tick tock...

I can not tell you how strong these women are...their strength causes me to marvel in awe at the love of God; His hand is on their lives. He has a plan for them...it is not for me to know or to understand. But still, I wonder at the passage of time....what it holds for these women, for me, for us all.

I know this is not the most uplifting post...but it is what is on my heart concerning time.

Please do not let it pass before you go and get checked by your doctor...do not wait until it is too late to get a physical...make your health one of your priorities!

There is HOPE for the future...one day, someone's son or daughter will be the genius who discovers the cure to this dreadful disease!

I have spent my last several posts pondering time concerning my own child's life...how is it that she can possibly be nineteen??? Time is such a curious concept...I know only one thing about it with certainty- it flies by...

Take the time to view everyone else's Theme Thursday posts here.

Two for Tuesday

2008-06-03T18:38:00.003-04:00

What a fun couple of days I have had! The daughter has been really excited by her new birthday gifts, and she's been cooking up a STORM. Many of her friends have been over, and the house has been filled with giggly girls, great food, and good times...Normally, I try to get out of their way, and allow them to have free time without the "mom" hanging out being in the way. I typically excuse myself to the bedroom and read a book. These last few days, the girls have asked me to join in the fun. Yesterday, after the most delicious brunch of "chicken and waffles," we all went shopping. They had a party to go to last night, so they wanted something new to wear...(No, in case you were wondering, I did not go to the party!) Today, we all went swimming at my parent's pool...a wonderfully lazy afternoon filled with blazing sunshine and crystal clear water- a fabulous day! They did invite me along to a club called The Red Eye this evening...not sure if I will go, but the thought was sweet. I enjoy being a young mother, but there are times when I KNOW for certain that I am too old for some of the things that they do...stay out all night, drink like fishes, get up early the next morning, still make it to class, no hangovers, a power nap, ready to go out again the next evening! LOL- I start yawning generally around 11:00. Anyway, it has been enjoyable spending more time with the daughter, and I appreciate the fact that she still wants me around. Check out the dishes below- some of the first things she has made with her new birthday gadgets...

Thanks to The Food Network's Bobby Flay, the daughter saw an episode where he challenged a lady in Harlem to a throwdown cook-off making chicken and waffles. The daughter has been wanting to make this for the longest time, and I never could imagine why...who in the world eats fried chicken with waffles???...well, it rocks! Let me just say, it was delicious! I was quite surprised. She even took pains to "plate" the dish like a pro. The next dish she made for dinner was grilled panini sandwiches, fried pickles with ranch chipolte dipping sauce, and kettle cooked chips. They washed it all down with a new find from our local grocery store- a blueberry lager called "Wild Blue." The fried pickles were espeically nice, since this is one of our favorite things to get when we go to a beachside grill in Seaside, Florida called "Pickles." The daughter's were just as tasty! We were all stuffed to the max, and several of the girls took their left-overs to the party with them for later. Ha,ha.

Tonight, we are having grilled chicken and salad...something much lighter than the last few days! The husband will be home soon, and I have given the daughter the night off from cooking (LOL), so I better get moving. Hope your week is going nicely.

BSM: Perfect Party Post

2008-06-01T22:25:00.005-04:00

What is it???? Something special arrived for the party in an absolutely adorable box...
It's a cake! I could not have asked for anything better...THE most expensive birthday cake that I have ever bought, but it was well worth it to see the look on my baby girl's face...
Dinner, friends, family, good food, love and laughter...the celebration is underway!
Oh, the gifts...MEB helps unwrapping big surprises... just what she wanted!
Cousins...this sweet little girl LOVES the birthday girl with her whole heart!

Perfection...

Nineteen years ago, on this very day, she came into my life. I was uncertain, much too young, and scared out of my mind...but when I took that little bundle into my arms, and she peered at me with such love, my heart melted immediately. She had the most exotic brown eyes, a little button nose, and a perfect red bow mouth. She was perfection in the truest form...THE most amazing gift that I have ever received...I am blessed to spend my life loving and taking care of this angel. I have been blessed every day since then.

Motherhood is so unpredictable...I have often felt the same uncertainty that I felt on the day of her birth...a cloud that hovers over me, causing me to worry that something I did would become the biggest mistake in her life...that I would mess up, and make her life miserable, or just be an altogether terrible parent. Even this is a blessing...so many wish to be mothers and are unable.

She is the joy of my life, and no matter what challenges lie ahead, I will always be proud of her...I will always be thankful that I am her mother.

Happy 19th birthday, my baby girl!

By the way, the party was perfection, as well! We had such a nice time...

Menu for the evening:

Baked ziti (made with Disney princess pasta, ground beef, cheese, and tomato sauce)

Garden salad (with Green Jacket salad dressing, tomotoes, croutons)

Cheesy garlic bread

Tea, lemonade, sodas

Princess cake with ice cream for dessert

Gifts for the birthday girl:

The Food Network's 4 in 1 Panini Grill

A deep fryer

Batter bowl, spatulas, pancake turner, and other cooking utensils

Sensational Summer Grilling recipe book

Perfume

Money

Note: My girl is interested in cooking, and she's become addicted to watching The Food Network. So, these gifts were a bit selfish, sort of...it would be nice, oh so nice, to have company in the kitchen and help with food preparation!

Party Favor Bags:

Precious princess purses filled with Dinsey princess colored pencils and stickers, candy, party blowers, and mini Uno card games.

After dinner, cake, ice cream and gifts, the girls played several rounds of Uno (with the teeny tiny cards), watched part of Aladdin, and then decided to go for a midnight swim at my parent's pool.

*sigh*

I can not tell you what a wonderfully fulfilling evening this has been- despite my teary-eyed feeling of having a daughter who is 19, I LOVE knowing that she and her friends can still be little girls once in awhile, play silly games, get excited about Disney princesses, and find the wonder in the world from the perspective of little girls.

Hope your weekend brought you much happiness and some perfect moments as well!

Check out more Best Shot Monday posts here.

Little Girl Gone

2008-05-30T11:02:00.004-04:00

Nineteen. My baby girl will be nineteen on Sunday, June 1, at 2:22 pm. I am struggling with this birthday, like I know she is. She has hit a hard place in her life, where things do not seem so easy and the path is not as clear as it once was. She is really searching for a direction...and I can not come to her rescue like I have been able to do her whole entire life. She has to be the one to forge on and create her very own path...This hurts me because I do not know where she will end up. I want so much to protect and shield her from the sorrows and frustrations in life. I do know that this is not possible. I also realize that these are the things in my own life that make me just who I am...the things that help me to be strong and capable. I believe there is something wonderful in store for her life...she will make her way in this world!

Just when I thought every trace of that baby girl I once loved was gone, she springs on me that she wants a Jasmine birthday...you know, the Disney princess, Jasmine. We are having my parents and a few of the daughter's friends over for baked ziti, salad, tea, ice cream and cake...not just any baked ziti though, baked ziti made with princess pasta! I found this in our local grocery store, and the daughter begged for it like a two-year old! I gave in, and jokingly said, "This is what we should have for your birthday dinner." That started the Jasmine adventure...I will let you know how things turn out, and post pictures.

Hope your weekend includes family fun as well. Have a nice one!

Image credit.

BSM: Memorial Day Moments

2008-05-26T19:04:00.004-04:00

The pool is officially open. The flower pots and flower beds are planted; the fountains are flowing again. The deck is swept clean, and the tables don new umbrellas dressed in this season's finery...For years, we have gathered our belongings and headed to this place, an oasis for the world weary, the pool at my parent's home...this is THE place where we vacationed when I was young. Who needed Florida, when you could simply walk out to the back deck and take the most refreshing plunge into the crystal clear waters of this lovely pool? This is the place where I feel most comfortable in the least flattering of clothing, my bathing suit. This is where my child (now almost 19) took her first naps when she was only days old...where she first learned to swim, to dive, and sunbathe...where countless children have learned to love the water without fear. This is where sunscreen, floats, snuggly beach towels, pool toys, flip flops, books of every genre, and sometimes tropical drinks are to be found each and every day of the summer. This day marks our first swim of the season...we have all emerged like flowers reaching for and following the sun. We have gathered together once again, with the hopes of more family fun and wonderful moments in this, our sacred place. The scent of the nearby grill effortlessly searing the tender morsels of meat is always making our mouths water for what wonders will soon come...while we wait, we float, we dive; we enter beneath the surface of the water, hoping to escape the troubles of what lies above us...letting it all slip away for just a moment...aaahhhh, the first day of our official summer. Hope your holiday brought you wonderful times with family and friends. For more wonderment and lovely places, check out everyone elses' Best Shot Monday.

From Inside the Coma

2008-05-25T21:49:00.003-04:00

While our school year is officially over, my work is yet to be done...still Monday is a holiday in the US, so I will be spending the day doing just what I want to do! Then, Tuesday, back to the grind...
I can not fully express the exhaustion I feel...there are no words. This year was honestly a lovely one, with many, many accomplishments by our school, my students, and my department (language arts). All in all though, I feel as though I have been hit by a truck...this truck must have backed up only to run over me again! I am sort of in a mild comatose state where all I want to do is rest lazily, sleep, snuggle, dream...all involving my luscious bed. Soon, I will emerge ready to live the summer days as they were meant to be spent...beside the pool. LOL! (Just kidding, although I do plan on spending many of my days at my parent's beautiful pool.)

BSM: Honoring Girl Power

2008-05-19T22:46:00.004-04:00

This is MEB again, my niece, the girliest girl you will ever meet...at 5 years old, she gets her nails done at the salon with her mom...she LOVES baby dolls...she dresses up like a princess whenever she gets the chance...she takes dance every Tuesday evening...her favorite color is PINK...she sings along with Hannah Montana just as loud as all of the other girls...BUT she totally rocks the T-ball field! She swings a bat as powerful as any boy; she takes the bases as fast as she can, and she gets down and dirty with the rest of the team!
This evening, I had the honor of attending MEB's last game of the season. Her team completely nailed it with a score of 28-11. I was so proud and touched to see this sweaty, serious side of her. Then, I thought...that is the mystery of GIRLS! We CAN have it both ways! We can do ANYTHING! Today, I am honoring the girly tomboy in ALL of us. Hope you have a GREAT week doing something that you love.
To check out what everyone else is honoring, take a look at other lovely shots at Mother May I?!

P.S. Like Tracey's my shot is borrowed. A team dad / photographer took it, and I am borrowing it since all of the photos that I took this evening were so awful. Maybe one day, I will have a decent camera!

All About My Man

2008-05-14T17:09:00.003-04:00

My friend, Natalie, tagged me for this fun meme...here is the scoop all about MY man!

1. Who is your man? the husband
2. How long have you been together? Together- 19 and 1/2 years; Married- 18 years
(I have known and loved this man since I was 16 years old!)
3. How long dated? 1 and 1/2 years
4. How old is your man? Nine years older than me...(not as scandalous now, as it was when I was 16...) I am 36; he is 45.
5. Who eats more? This is not a nice question...I would love to say he does, and I should be ashamed that I can eat alot...I think it depends on the food and the time. I eat way less up until dinner. He eats larger meals for breakfast and lunch. We eat similar amounts at dinner.
6. Who said "I love you" first? I have no idea....sadly. It was most likely me. We would probably argue about this though...
7. Who is taller? This is an area of sensitivity for my husband (at times). I am short, but he is a tad bit shorter than me. What he lacks in height, he makes up in eaverything else!
8. Who sings better? No contest- the husband sings so beautifully...he is a musician, and I have always LOVED to listen to him sing and play...
9. Who is smarter? This is also an area of difficulty for us; we tend to be competitive at times. I would gladly tell you all that he is smarter, but I would NEVER tell him that.
10. Whose temper is worse? Mine. It's not pretty, and I can not stop it when it is happening...I have a fit, and then all is better. I used to get in the car, and drive to the nearest grocery store, sit in the parking lot, and FUME! I am so much better these days...not had a fit in a while!
11. Who does the laundry? The husband does....all of it, ironing too. He also cleans more than I do. (I am the envy of all of the ladies with whom I work!)
12. Wh0 takes out the garbage? Neither of us; the daughter does that. It is one of her chores. Although both of us have been known to help her out when she is busy or away from home.
13. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? I do.
14. Who pays the bills? The husband. (Gosh, he does it all! I should be more helpful!)
15. Who is beter with the computer? We are about the same with this one...we both manage fairly well.
16. Who mows the lawn? Our yard man, Franklin...(The husband has a rare heart disorder, and since he has a defibrilator, he can not use any kind of yard tool that vibrates.)
17. Who cooks dinner? I do! I do everything related to food- preparing, cooking, baking, grilling, even heating it up!
18. Who drives when you are together? The husband. I hate to drive, so I am always looking for someone else to do that for me.
19. Who pays when you go out? He does. (But all of our money goes into the same account, so it really makes no difference.)
20. Who is most stubborn? The husband. (Although he would certainly disagree. Perhaps, the daughter might win this one!)
21. Who is the first to admit when they are wrong? I ALWAYS give in, even when I know I am right...I cool off, and just want the disagreement to be over, so I say that I was wrong, or that I am sorry, or that it was all my fault...whatever it takes.
22. Whose parents do you see the most? Mine (The husband's parents have both passed away.)
23. Who kissed who first? I think I remember that we both had a part in that...(really I have no clue. That was YEARS ago!)
24. Who asked who out? We did not "officially" date, like most people do. The husband was supposed to teach me how to play the guitar that I got for my 17th birthday, but that was all a ruse...when we actually went "out", he suggested that we go.
25. Who proposed? Well, I did. But, he asked and aksed and asked...you might remember that I have told the story of being pregnant at 17, and getting married at 19. Well, we did not get married right way...but not because he did not ask. He did (again and again); I just was not ready to be a wife. Suddenly, one summer day, I was and I asked him if he would still marry me. Later at midnight on Christmas Eve, he officially proposed and gave me a ring.
26. Who is more sensitive? Oh, no question, I am!
27. Who has more friends? Hard to say...we both have many.
28. Who has more siblings? I do.
29. Who wears the pants in the family? The husband.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Is that it?
You missed the most important question!!

30. How did you meet? Oh, no. This is a most embarrassing story. When people hear it, they LOVE it, so I have to tell it often.
I was a junior in high school, dating a boy named Mark. Mark had a friend named Eddie. Mark and I were always having some problem, and when my phone rang one evening, I answered it. The caller said, "May I speak to Angela?" I said, "This is she." (Note: My name is NOT Angela. I just though this voice sounded like Eddie. I imagined Mark asked him to call me and break up with me, and people ALWAYS get my name wrong, so I answer to just about anything...) About 10 minutes into the conversation, I realized (to my horror!) that this was a wrong number. I had NO CLUE who this person was. Finally, I worked up the courage to confess that I thought he had the wrong number. Well, it was not nice-oh, how the caller made fun of me! "Do you always talk people who call wrong numbers? Don't you have anything better to do?...(insert serious sarcasm where appropriate!)" Quickly, I hung up, and was just mortified! I continued with my art history homework, and thought I would have a funny story to tell my friends the next day, once I recovered from the embarrassment!
Well, a few minutes later, the phone rang again. I answered again. It was the same caller- the wrong number! He recognized my voice from before, and explained that he felt bad for making fun of me, and he just wanted to call back to apologize. THAT is how I met my husband. By the way, I mentioned that he was a musician. He was calling Angela, some girl he met at band practice, who gave him her number, but he lost it. He was calling every person in the phone book with her last name...(she and I just happened to share the same last names...) I owe a great deal to Angela Ballard. I have never met her, or seen her, but I am certainly happy that I answered the phone that day! Needless to day, we continued talking for days and weeks, and eventually he came over to my house to be my guitar teacher. My father LOVES to point out to people that I STILL do not know how to play the guitar. :)

So, thanks for reading all about my man! I would like to tag my very best friend in the whole wide world, Sallee! She's got a great man too...let's hear all about him!!

Lost and Found

2008-05-06T23:26:00.002-04:00

Just a note to say that I have been lost for awhile...in the hectic thing I call my life.
The past two weeks have been ridiculously busy, and I am hoping that things will settle down soon! I can see the light at the end of the tunnel...the school year is so close to an end, and I am longing for some SERIOUS rest. I have many photos to share and things to tell...for another day.
I am off to dream and snuggle my sweet husband...and a few cats.

Rescued again...

2008-04-23T22:50:00.006-04:00

This is what happens when you need help at THE VERY LAST MINUTE and your friend Natalie saves the day...(the most creative person I know).

This is what happens when your friend drops the HUGE busy project going on in her own life to help you decorate 13 empty paint cans, and her husband drills holes in the top, and her whole household is interrupted and devoted to helping complete this particular project IN ONE EVENING.

This is what happens when your administrator tells you on TUESDAY to create 13 containers for money votes for the contestants of a beauty pageant on Thursday night of the same week...

Whew! What a friend...thank you, Nat, from the bottom of my heart for always helping me...usually at the last minute! Thank you for the fellowship, the laughter, the gossip, the dinner, the supplies, the ideas, and most of all for rescuing me once again.

BSM: Sunshine

2008-04-21T17:50:00.004-04:00

Lucky enough to capture a bit of sunshine in your life lately? Tracey's post for Best Shot Monday this week made me focus on the sunshine in my life right now...

the daughter when her heart sings, and her little bow mouth turns up into an real smile

a nuzzle from a cat after a long hard day

a phone call from the best friend in the whole wide world asking to spend time with me

watching a newborn baby sleep and dream

snuggling the husband on our couch while watching a movie

the smell of freshly made coffee

my favorite songs drifting into my ears from headphones, enveloping me

a walk in a nearby park, wading in the water

soaking up the rays of the sun on a spring afternoon

buying some new clothes for spring

the taste of berry key lime cheesecake-sharing it with someone you love

the sight of people emerging from winter's cocoon, enjoying the spring

laughter, loud and silly, from girls you love
newly painted toe nails and bare feet walking through the fresh grass

Here's hoping you have quite a bit of sunshine in your life right now too! Enjoy your week.

Thursday Theme: Spring

2008-04-17T22:08:00.004-04:00

It WAS spring here, and oddly enough, we have had a bit of a cold snap...30's in the mornings, and 70ish by the afternnoons. It is actually kind of nice! The afternoons this week have been lovely, but I have been SO busy with testing and school functions that I could not really enjoy them. I am longing for a picnic in a nearby park...

This photo is from a recent afternoon in my parent's yard..."thrift" my mother calls this flower; it is in patches out by the mailbox. It reminds me of my childhood. Seeing it always makes spring offical for me.

Hope you are having a great week...basking in the sunlight, enjoying your spring-like weather, emerging from your winter's cocoon, and soaking in the delight of the newness of the world awakening. For more spring, visit Stacey at The Land of K.A.

Two for Tuesday

2008-04-15T23:24:00.003-04:00

Good News all around!

The daughter's pathology report was clear...all abnormal cells were removed with her recent surgery, and all is well!

My mother does NOT have breast cancer again; it was just scar tissue from her first bout with it 14 years ago.

Praises to an awesome God.
Thanks for the prayers, well wishes, and good thoughts.

On another note, we started state standardized testing in our county today. I am exhausted. Much too tired to take photos, think up clever posts, or even think really. I am off to bed to rest for another long day tomorrow...hope your week goes well.

My Best Friend...in the Whole Wide World

2008-04-13T00:23:00.006-04:00

She has a blog! PLEASE drop by and wish her well...
This woman is my dearest friend in the ENTIRE world! She would remember better than I do about why we started saying, "my best friend in the whole wide world," but in the scope of my life, she IS my very best friend in the whole wide world...she knows me better than I know myself. She is patient and kind, much more so than I deserve. She drops everything to be by my side when I need her. She not only does this for me; she does it for MANY. She is perhaps THE most selfless person that I know. We share fun times, laughter, secrets, hard times, and JOY. She knows ALL of my secrets, my faults, my vices...and loves me in spite of them! She has had some of the most intense challenges in her life, and has handled them with grace and humility...she continues to have faith that God is by her side through it all, while encouraging others along the way. She is STRONG...stronger than I could ever imagine being...when others would give up, she keeps going on.

Sallee and her husband will be going on a trip to his home land- Northern Ireland- this summer, and she will be blogging all about it! I can not wait to log on every day and discover Ireland along with her! I hope you will come along on the journey!

Sallee, welcome to the blogosphere! I have found that I like it here. The people are quite nice, and the freedom to share is exhilarating! I love you, my most effective.

Thursday Theme: Perfection

2008-04-10T16:06:00.004-04:00

Life is just rarely perfect...my photos certainly are not perfect, but once in a blue moon, a perfect moment comes around. This is one of those times...

The daughter had surgery yesterday. It was not major surgery; it was an out-patient procedure, but she was still having surgery. She was nervous. I was nervous. I think everyone was nervous! I am certain that so MANY people prayed...she handled things so well that after the surgery, she wanted to go visit her cousin, MEB, at my parent's house (they keep her every afternoon after school until her parents get off from work). These photos show a perfection that can only be truly understood if you hear the squeals of delight from a five year old when she gets an unexpected visitor, someone she loves with her whole heart- someone who will color with her after just having had surgery...a perfection that can only be understood if you know what it is like to worry that your child might not wake up, only to see her laugh and play again...a perfection that means God is good...all the time...things WILL be alright...I just have to believe they will.

For other moments of perfection, please visit Stacey at The Land of K.A.!

Note: By the way, pathology reports on both the daughter and my mother will not be in until Tuesday. So, waiting and praying still!

Wednesday Woes

2008-04-09T08:19:00.005-04:00

I hurt someone I love...my best friend in the whole wide world.

My heart aches.

The daughter is having surgery today...in a few hours.

My mother is having a biopsy tomorrow to see if the breast cancer she had 14 years ago has returned.

Someone I love's daughter is battling against an ugly lie with her life.

My head is spinning...my life feels out of control right now.

Right now, all I can worry about is the daughter...after her surgery and whatever the doctor says, then I can worry about the rest...

I know God is in control. I believe His hand is on my life, and I know that many others have been praying and will be praying today. For her. She will be fine. I have to believe that everything will be fine. I am trying to learn to take my own advice and hand it ALL over to my Father, my God, who is by my side through every tough situation. I have always believed in the power of prayer. I have felt it myself. I know God is real, and He is in control. I am His. I am His prodigal daughter, making my way back, sorry and ashamed.

BSM: "Live in the Sunshine..."

2008-04-07T17:13:00.011-04:00

"Live in the sunshine, swim in the sea, and drink the wild air..."- Emerson

Today, I would like to share one of my favorite places on EARTH! I recently spent the day there with my best friend in the whole wide world while we were on spring break. If you have never been, and you get the chance to go, DO NOT MISS IT! If I had millions of dollars to spend on anything I wanted, I would quit my job, purchase a house here, and open a shop in the square....this is my most wonderful fantasy! (Some days are tough enough that this fantasy is ALL that gets me through to the next day...)

Just take a glimpse of ONE part of this fabulous place:

This is Seaside, Florida. I can not even begin to tell you how amazing this place is...how lovely, how quaint and perfect. I am sure it is just like the rest of the world (less than perfect, complete with disappointments) but in my head, it is PERFECTION! Check out this site if you are curious about the beginning of this town; it was built with purpose and with luxurious simplicity in mind. Everything about this town relates to the "Seaside style." My most favorite stops besides the actual beach are Pickles Beachside Grill for lunch (the BEST fried pickles!), Perspicasity (a Mediterranean open-air market), Sundog Books and Central Square Records (GREAT books, neatly arranged downstairs, while the ecclectic musical finds are upstairs), and last but not least, Modica Market (a charming little grocery store with the most unusual gourmet finds). There are loads more, but these are just my favorites.

(Note: By the way, the film The Truman Show was filmed here. If you see the film before or after visiting, you will notice so many lovely aspects of the town...it is so neat to see this lovely place in that strange film!)

For BSM, I chose to share a few photos that I took recently from Perspicasity, Modica Market, and surrounding areas...I know, there is more than ONE, but I so adore this place.

FABULOUS Emerson quote and
my very favorite concept:

"shop barefoot by the sea."

They sell clothes, shoes, jewelry, odd

and eccentric things...

Lovely open displays, baskets,

such great finds!

Modica Market

Bike rentals

Thanks for going on that mini-vacation in my mind with me...I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did! Please stop over at Tracey's to see what other friendly faces and new places people are sharing today!

(Note: I hope you will also take time to read about what a GREAT weekend we had...today's theme worked for that too, but I had already told you all about it!)

Welcome to My Weekend!

2008-04-05T16:33:00.015-04:00

First of all, last night was girls night in at our house (with the exception of the husband, and all of the girls said he was allowed to stay-LOL!) The daughter and four of her closest girlfriends all decended upon our house with movies, margarita mix, snacks, and a multitude of gripes and complaints towards several young men that just had to be vented! Everyone, glass in hand, perched in some comfortable spot around our living room, while we watched one of the most beautiful films (so I thought at the beginning) called Into the Wild. Rated R, (not for children)lovely cinemetography, interesting angles, a unique concept based on a true story, and a handsome leading man...what could be better? Well, by the end of the film, I was shedding tears and was so disturbed that I honestly had difficulty sleeping later. I will not spoil it for those that might want to watch it, but I will say that despite whatever unspeakable things this young man felt his parents did to him, no parent deserves what his ultimately got. Perhaps because I am a mother, maybe this is why it disturbed me so much. I am not sure...I am still mulling it over in my mind. I will cherish the lovely sights I was able to see of the Alaskan wilderness that I will never personally witness in my lifetime, but the human nature side of the film left me perplexed and feeling sad. Despite the feelings the film left in me, it was so nice for ours to once again be the house where all of the girls gathered!

Next, today is Saturday...a rainy one at that. We are all feeling lazy and without much purpose today. Three of the fours girls are still here, and I made homemade calzones for an early dinner. They are throwing down with the Wii- boxing like I have never seen girls box before...Hilarious!

Not the best photo, but there were some serious knock outs going on mind you! I can hear the crowd cheering from here, so someone just won! And the re-match is on...

Even though I have not gotten much done at all so far this weekend, it has been a nice comfortable time with my family and the daughter's friends. I have a baby shower tomorrow and a massive amout of school preparations before Monday, so I will spend the rest of today pretending that I am free without a care in the world!

By the way, if you've never made homemade calzones, and you'd like to, check out the following recipe. This is only the second time that I have made them, but everyone seemed to like them, and right now there are no leftovers!

Calzones

1 loaf of frozen bread dough, thawed (I used two loaves for two huge calzones)

1 pound of mild Italian sausage, cooked, drained and crumbled

(I also used diced grilled chicken and pepperoni in addition to sausage)

1 cup of shredded Provolone cheese

1 cup of shredded Mozzarella cheese

1/4 cup of Parmesan cheese

1/2 cup of Ricotta cheese (I left this out, since we do not like it.)

1/4 tsp. dried basil

1/4 tsp. salt

1/4 tsp. pepper

1/4 tsp. dried rosemary

1 egg white

Roll out the bread dough on a floured counter to 1/4-1/2 inch thickness. In a medium skillet, cook sausage and drain. Spread meat, cheeses, and spices over dough. Roll up carefully so loaf looks like a long loaf of French bread. Seal long edge and tuck under the ends. Place the rolled up loaf seam side down on greased cookie sheet (I used cooking spray to lightly coat the cookie sheet.) Glaze the loaf with egg whites. Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes or until golden brown. Slice and enjoy!

Note: This time, I made 1 sausage, pepperoni and cheese calzone and 1 chicken and cheese calzone. Next time, when I have green peppers, black olives or other vegetables, I will try those too.

Thursday Theme: Stylin'

2008-04-03T18:02:00.003-04:00

It's Cherry Blossom Time!

We are in the midst of a two week Cherry Blossom Festival that causes our city to become awash in pink...bows, wreaths, flowers, balloons, flags, clothes, pancakes...you name it; it most likely turns pink here for these two weeks! (Many of the men involved with the festival functions even wear pink sports jackets! And visitors who visit the city and do not know about the festival usually think there are ridiculous amounts of baby girls born because of all of the pink ribbons!)

About today's theme, I have to say, I have no photographic style. I have never given it much thought really. I ADORE photography exhibits, arty creative expressions with photography, black and whites, photos with no people in them (my sweet mother can just not understand why someone would take a photo without a person in it! LOL), photos that tell a story with no words, and images that move me in some way. I am not really able to do all of those things myself; I am basically a "point and shoot" kind of girl. I aim to be more than that one day, to take instantly amazing shots, to move people with my photos, and to feel inclinded to hang something I have taken on my walls. I desire to have a FANTASTIC camera, to take a photography class with the daughter (who does have a naturally good photographic eye), and to become something more like a photographer than a point and shooter. (ha,ha)

My photos for today's theme: stylin' are more about the person in the photos- my niece, MEB, is making a return with her precious stylin' self! (Just let me say, her mother, my sister-in-law dresses this child to the max! She shops mostly at Gymboree, and MEB is matching from head to toe - even panties and socks oftentimes!) This pretty in pink girl and my pink city are the things that I chose to share with you today.
For more stylin' stories and photos, visit Stacey over at The Land of KA...Enjoy!

BSM: Can You Handle These Truths?

2008-03-31T18:22:00.009-04:00

The truth is I am always in too much of a rush to take such an early morning photo.

The truth is I am not certain that I am brave enough to share the above mentioned photo with the world, or honestly even the few people who stop by this blog from time to time.

The truth is I really am more of a morning person, though lately I can NOT seem to rise from my bed as early as I need to in order not to rush every morning.

The truth is I wish I could take a nap every day. (I LOVE to sleep. It could almost count as an illness!)

The truth is I often sleep with the husband and AT LEAST four of our five cats in our bed.

The truth is my pajamas are my most favorite clothes in the world...(baggy, flannel bottoms and any random t-shirt.)

The truth is I just started back to work TODAY after a week of spring break, and I felt depressed and comatose all day.

The truth is I wish summer would start tomorrow, and I did not have to go back to work until August. (This is my LEAST favorite time of year- state mandated standardized testing soon, and then hormonal chaos until we call it officially over for the year around the end of May)

The truth is right now this very minute, I wish I were back on the BEACH with my very best friend in the whole wide world...

If you can handle more truthiness, wander over to

Mother May I and have a look!

Seeing Spring Break 2008

2008-03-29T21:33:00.004-04:00

Destin, Florida

Our last glimpse of the churning sea...the constant ebb and flow of tranquility, the soft sinking sand beneath my feet, the cry of the gulls, the chill of the salty breeze, burying our troubles in the sand, one last look with my best friend in the whole wide world...bliss.

BSM: A Day Early

2008-03-23T22:34:00.017-04:00

Note: I am off with my best friend in the whole wide world on our annual spring break excursion (We are heading to Destin, Florida first thing Monday morning), so I am technically posting late Sunday evening...(almost my best shot Monday!)

Easter is such a colorful and vibrant celebration of New Life...and I can not resist little girls in their Sunday best. This is my precious neice, my heart, MEB (pronounced like mee-bee; this is what my mother calls her). She is five, and she steals my heart each and every time I am near her. She does live in the same town as I do, but we are all so busy that I do not spend as much time with her as I would like. I was thrilled that I was able to see her today at my parent's house, as we all gathered there for the traditional family egg hunt and dinner. She makes me laugh; she makes my heart sing, and I am convinced that she will grow up to do something COMPLETELY amazing when she gets big! Just look at those sweet, chubby toes...that is the only thing on her that still says 'baby' to me. Everything else speaks 'big girl' all the way!

Today, the family egg hunt was HILARIOUS, at best! My nephews, MEB's much older brothers, gave her a great competition. (Keep in mind that the oldest is 16, the middle brother is 12, and as I said, she is 5!) They hunted eggs SO FAST that I could barely snap photos, and she managed to keep up with them so well. (By the way, the daughter, at 18, has finally graduated up to helping hide the eggs!LOL) The final score was 31 eggs (16 year old) to 27 eggs (5 year old) to 17 eggs (12 year old). Yes, with this lot EVERYTHING is a competition!

And they are off..."Don't let her knock you down!"

B wants a recount..."How could I have only gotten 17 eggs???"

And the winner is...."No one can compete with the master-egg-finder!!!"

Here's hoping that you had just as much fun with your family this Easter...hoping your weather was perfect and that you were able to laugh, love and celebrate this wonderful life that we are So blessed to live! For more BSM, check out what Tracey has in store for you on Monday!

(OK...have a wonderful week! I will return refreshed and ready to once again face the world after some much needed best friend therapy and some girls-week-out adventure!)

Happy Easter!

2008-03-23T12:32:00.002-04:00

He is risen!

Have a wonderful time

with your families today...

Theme Thursday: Self

2008-03-20T18:44:00.003-04:00

Freckled face, chubby cheeks, stringy hair, fat girl...

These are the things that I see most immediately in my self...these are the images that I always strive to avoid seeing. However, I have learned in my thirty-six years on this earth that I am so much more than these things...coming to terms with who I am, striving to be comfortable in my own skin, and accepting the blessings that God has given me- these are the lessons that I am learning each and every day.

These are the things that I wish wholeheartedly I could teach my 7th grade girls, my students. I see so much disappointment and sorrow in them at times; in our society we value thin, beautiful, perfect...so often what we are not- we should be allowed to be REAL, and these girls, like myself, have to work hard to become real in spite of the pressure to be plastic and artificial. I work so hard to instill good self-images in my girls, complimenting them and not allowing them to practice self-loathing...7th grade is the worst though- hormones, emotional roller coasters, peer pressure, ugly and awkward- I see such beauty, such fresh faced honesty...I hope that they do not have to spend thirty-six years to learn the lesson of self-worth!

Thank you, Stacy, for today's theme...my most uncomfortable subject, but it allowed me to explore a bit more of myself...for additional thoughts on self, click here.

Old Photo Friday: If the girl in this photo could talk...

2008-03-14T16:50:00.006-04:00

If the girl in this photo could talk, she would tell you all about her Senior Year:

1989...Big hair, loud music, loads of friends, thoughts of graduation and the coming freedom, Senior English class, a term paper, "Will she pass math?," pep rallies, football Friday nights, sorority sisters, club meetings, community volunteering, loitering in parking lots, Don't worry...Be Happy, hanging out at the Loft, riding with her friend in the old VW, driving like maniacs, hanging out of the window to feel the cool air, listening to live local music, falling in love, feeling exhilaration at the slightest thing...

An unplanned pregnancy, petitioning the board to see if she could stay at school, first pregnant girl in school, maternity clothes rather than the uniform, stares and whispers, doctor's visits, telling her father, feeling like a disappointment, upsetting her oldest brother, who could not have children and had such high hopes for her, not comprehending the emotional and hormonal changes going on, a lifetime of tears in several months, eating for two, learning more and more about the father of her baby, and falling more in love with him each day, drowning in the deep brown pools of his eyes, a "B" on the term paper titled "The Sexual Revolution" (she wrote about what she knew...), surprise baby shower from the girls in her senior class, anticipating the arrival of a new life, a new little person to love, breastfeeding classes and lamaze, not fitting in the desks anymore at school, taking finals at home, not attending prom OR graduation, all of her friends going seperate ways, a rocking chair for a graduation gift, laboring through a 6 1/2 hour delivery, meeting her daughter for the very first time...a changed life.

She would tell you that this was THE BEST YEAR in her life because of what joy it brought...she would laugh and cry at the memory of all of this...she would tell you she still feels stings of shame at how public her mistakes had been, for all the world to see, comment on, and judge...she would say she would NOT CHANGE A THING. She would welcome questions and comments now...She would thank you for allowing her to share such a story!

I know she would tell you all of this, because the girl in that photo is me.

Thursday Theme: Change

2008-03-12T23:09:00.001-04:00

"Come gather 'round people
Wherever you roam
And admit that the waters
Around you have grown
And accept it that soon
You'll be drenched to the bone.
If your time to you
Is worth savin'
Then you better start swimmin'
Or you'll sink like a stone
For the times they are a-changin'..."

"Come mothers and fathers
Throughout the land
And don't criticize
What you can't understand
Your sons and your daughters
Are beyond your command
Your old road is
Rapidly agin'.
Please get out of the new one
If you can't lend your hand
For the times they are a changin'..." - Bob Dylan

(1990) -From chubby baby fingers, stuffed "dummy labbits," frilly dresses, sweet pierced ears, Eskimo kisses, sand box playtime, the innocence of childhood..."I love you to the moon and back again..."

(2007)- To a devilish smile, holding on to secrets, tan lines from spring break, a nose piercing, wisdom beyond years, first love, random snuggles, making art, driving away, the heartbreak of becoming an adult...

The times they are a changin'...checkout other changes here.

BSM: Things that Make Your Heart Hurt

2008-03-10T17:51:00.000-04:00

(Disclaimer: This is NOT a photograph that I think will lead me to the Photography Hall of Fame or anything, but this fits Tracey's theme for today so well for me....keep reading, you'll see.)

Tracey wrote the in her post for today..."Just when you think you've hit your stride, one or both of your kids will slide into some new phase and you're caught not not looking and loose your balance. Sometimes you're left reeling only to struggle to regain composure while other times you find yourself flat on your face..."

As a mother, I can not confess the actual number of times when this has happened to me, completely without warning...taken me so off guard and rendered me not only speechless, but also painfully inept. I used to menatally remind myself (as if I'd forgotten or something) that I was an exteremely young mother, and if things went wrong, what did I know?! You can only use that for so many years, and then mothering is supposed to make sense, right? We are supposed to know what to do, how to answer, when to step in, and when to leave it alone...right? Well, I learned long ago, early in my eighteen years as a mother, that there is no survival guide or how-to book. The stages in a child's life are inexplicable and nebulous at best. This journey that I have been on with the daughter has been more like a roller coaster than a day at the beach. Seeing a daughter for who she is, not for what I want her to be (as Tracry mentioned) is such a tremendous step, a LEAP, into finding our places in this present life. But, just when I get used to that placement, she changes again...and I am forced to constantly reassess my role. My dear, sweet mother told me once that it NEVER gets easier...I really thought I might faint at hearing that. I argued with her claiming that she and I have progressed into such nice places, where, as adults, we are more like friends now than like mother and daughter. She told me that it still isn't easy for her...she worries about me, cannot control me, does not have authority over me, and has to let me go to lead my own life, no matter what, but that she never stops aching for me, worrying about me, praying for me, and hoping for the best for me. My mother will turn 70 years old next year...I guess she is right; it will never get easier and it will never end.
But, would you want it to? Isn't being a mother, especially to a daughter, the BEST job in the ENTIRE world? What would I give for the daughter's presence in my life? Absolutey nothing!

Which brings me (finally) to the BSM photo....these belong to the daughter. Does your heart ache at this sight, the mere thought of it, like mine does? Regardless of the reason for these birth control pills, I still can not wrap my brain around it all. At the moment, I WANT to turn around and see my precious toddler in diapers squealing out in joy at some new experience...I LONG to have her climb up in my lap for a bedtime story...I ACHE for her to give me that to-die-for-grin that could simply melt my heart with one look...I have asked this question so many times in this space, but what happened to all of those years? When did she turn this corner and have this new more adult life? What was I doing when this happened?

For the times of metamorphosis, for the face offs, the hang-on-to-your-hat moments in mothering...even the times when you are falling flat on your face...PLEASE still savor even those moments...you might have a day, not too far from now, when you long for even those times! Just know that no matter what stage of life you are in with your daughter, a new beautiful relationship is waiting to arise from it all.
Don't forget to check out Tracy's story and photo, as well as other BSM.

Thursday Theme: Spirited Cowgirls and Cats

2008-03-06T17:21:00.001-05:00

Note: I have two photos for today's theme...neither photo is especially good, but they both really represent the notion of "spirited."

My best friend in the whole wide world and I go to the rodeo every year on her birthday. This blurry horse is not spirited at all, but the ladies on the other side of the camera most certainly are! "YEEEEHAAAW," Woo Hoo," and "Rope that calf!! Get 'im...Hurry!" and the like can be heard from all around when WE are at the rodeo. I never in a million years would have imagined how very MUCH I like this event...I thought I would humor the best friend in the whole wide world and go because I knew that she really wanted to attend on our first year. I imagined that I would watch politely, cringe a bit at the cruelty of it all, and then go home happy to be done with it. But, on the contrary, some seriously feisty spirit overtook me, and I hooted and hollered with the best of them! I had THE most fun! Now, it is a tradition...the boots, the chaps, the cowboys hats...oh, what fun, what fun!

This little fellow...this is Norton. He is our youngest. He might actually be THE most playful and spirited cat that I have EVER witnessed. Not only does he HIDE is silly places like the daughter's purse, but he LOVES to jump out and scare you as he is doing here. He LIVES to frighten our most skittish cat, Vivian, and it is the most humorous thing to see. (Poor Vivi!) He runs, gallops, jumps, investigates, hides, seeks, antagonizes, plays, and generally LOVES life! He is a Scottish Fold by the way, which means his ears are folded...and his face has the look of a snowy owl, which makes him deliciously ADORABLE! This cat will most likely never be a laptop cat, which is what the husband so desires. This cat was purposeful and intentional on the part of the husband. He bought me a cute book one year for a Christmas stocking stuffer called The Cat Who Went to Paris by: Peter Gethers. This book was about a Scottish Fold named (you guessed it...) Norton. The husband and I both fell IN LOVE with the idea of Norton, and years later, we have one. The husband wants our Norton to behave like the Norton from the book, and is disappointed when he does not. He does love our Norton, and he has rather gotten used to being amused by the lively nature of this precious creature. Our Norton is just so charming; we even have guests that really do come by the house...just to see Norton! LOL.

Thanks for allowing me to share some of the spirit in our lives today. Get spirited away...check out other people's stories and photos here.

BSM: Reflections of Time Spent Well

2008-03-03T17:55:00.001-05:00

From the excursion that the daughter and I took on Saturday (read all about it below). This shot makes me realize that we'll have fewer and fewer days like this one- perfect weather, an interesting place with such great sights, and the two of us enjoying each other's company! Her life will get more hectic, and as she will eventually go away to college, these memories will be harder and harder to make. (Makes me want to sob!) I will not (at least not right now); I will focus on the lovely day that we had this weekend, and the fact that I have such a wonderful daughter. What are you contemplating today? For more reflections, check out these great shots.

Saturday Sunshine

2008-03-02T09:00:00.000-05:00

The Earth Lodge
Me wandering aimlessly about
The lovely rays of sunshine
Our first glimpse of the swampy wetlands
Me and the daughter

Yesterday, the weather was BEAUTIFUL here...not too hot, not too cold- PERFECT. I was feeling pasty white, like the sun had not touched my skin in so very long, and still a little fragile, but frantic to get outside! The daughter and I decided to venture out into the world to seek the rays of the sun. We decided to go to a place called Ocmulgee National Park. This park is a memorial to the Native Americans that lived in this location and built these mounds for religious uses. The park is a long, winding path through the mounds that ends up on a path called the River Walk- a boardwalk through 800 feet of emergent wetlands.

This was a lovely way to spend our day! (Thankfully, I found frequent park benches on which I could rest when the walk became too much for me.) We took some nice photos, got some exercise, soaked in the sunshine, and found ourselves amazed at this place teeming with life. Spring certainly seems on the verge of bursting forth here!

Hope you enjoy these shots...and that your weekend weather has allowed you to do something just as nice!

Leap Day Blues

2008-02-29T09:21:00.000-05:00

Well, I am not exactly leaping on this Leap Day, I am resting at home after a scary day yesterday. If your read my friend, Natalie's blog yesterday, then you read that several of us had scary days yesterday!

I have been dealing with a certain uncomfortable health issue for awhile now...I have had HUGE amounts of irregular cramping and bleeding over the last few MONTHS...not long ago, the doctor did an ultrasound, but the lining of my uterus was so thick it was hard to see anything, so he suggested a d&c. The surgery I was supposed to have next week was quickly moved up to yesterday. I was right in the middle of my second class, and I had this frightening feeling that I was bleeding...on the carpet. Not the best thing for middle schoolers to see, so I went to the bathroom to take care of that. (Mind you, I had already been twice to do just that and it was only 9:30 in the morning. If you are a teacher or know one, then you know it is next to impossible to get to the bathroom that many times in one day...) I took a minute to call the doctor's office, and the woman who answered the phone asked if I could come in right that minute to see the doctor. (Normally, I am so obsessive about my job and not leaving my students unless I absolutely have to do so, I would have said, "Of course not...I am a TEACHER....I am at work.") But this time, thankfully, I was scared enough that something just took over me. I explained to my assistant principal (poor man...I usually say more than I need to when I am nervous) then I just left. I did not worry that I had no substitute, no lessons that someone else could do with them...I just left.

It worked out that they could add me on the the end of my doctor's surgery schedule for the day. (He does them on Thursdays.) I walked right across the parking lot, signed myself in, and started calling my family and friends. The procedure was fast, and I just remember waking up with a sore throat and a bit of cramping. I slept most of the evening, and the sweet daughter took care of dinner and phone calls. My parents were AMAZING, as I had driven myself to the doctor's office, and could not drive home after surgery. They managed to make it down there for hugs and kisses just before I went back. Daddy drove me home, and mom drove my car. They brought groceries that the daughter would find it easy to cook for us over the weekend. The husband brought me ice cream for my sore throat.

So, today, I feel a bit like I was hit by a truck, but I am taking it easy and resting. Please pray that the bleeding and cramping will STOP! I am a little nervous that it won't. After 35 consecutive days of it, I do not know what I will do if this does not make it better.

Thanks for checking in with me...if you have time, go by and check on Nat's H. He must be feeling like he was hit by a truck today too.

Hope your Leap Day is lovely! Have a happy weekend...

(Image credit: http://theblogofthefrog.blogspot.com/2008/01/save-frogs.html)

An Avalanche of Creativity

2008-02-19T18:26:00.000-05:00

This is what my dining room table looks like when the daughter and I both get late night creative urges, and we are in a whirlwind of creation... I know, scary, isn't it?

My very best friend in the whole wide world is having a birthday this week, and I am working on a tiny scrapbook for her. The theme? RODEO NIGHTS, of course. Every year for her birthday, I purchase rodeo tickets for us; we go to dinner, head to the rodeo, get seated, "yeehaw" like lunatics, and have ourselves a right good time! This year, we will be heading out on Friday evening to participate in the fun. To celebrate this time in our lives, a traditon, I am creating this book for her. I have not felt so great during the last few weeks, so I have obviously waited until what feels like the last minute! Hence my creative fury.

The daughter's boyfriend is away at the moment, and she is missing him like crazy, so she's working on a scrapbook / journal that my innovative friend Natalie taught us how to fashion out of a composition notebook. It is really an amazingly simple thing that makes the finished book look so cool. I will post photos of both finished products as soon as they are done.

I must confess, seeing the dining room table (in the above photo) made my head spin a little bit when I arrived home from work several minutes ago. How can we possibly get any work done in that? We really are able to accomplish so much, but it would seem that productive work couldn't possibly happen there! LOL...

It made me wonder...what does your creative space look like? Are you messy when you create (as we certainly are) or are you completely organized and neat? What kind of space works best for you? I would love to hear your thoughts.

I hope the rest of your week is a fabulously creative one!

BSM: Color Creeps In

2008-02-18T09:36:00.000-05:00

I live in the south, and the winter weather here is sporadic at best. One day it might be 75 degrees, only for us to discover the next morning that it has dropped to 29 degrees. Local people pray for warmer temperatures, but I am really one of those strange sorts that does not. I always hope for snow...lovely fresh falling snowflakes that make the world stop (literally) and wait for the whisper of winter. It is rare here for it to snow, but it does once every so often. When it does, I was not kidding, everything here shuts down- schools, stores, traffic (except for those truly foolish people who think they can drive it in without any precautions of any kind...we always see them in a ditch on the nightly news). It is just so rare and usually unexpected, that we do not have the means to prepare the roadways.

Alas, it is nearing the end of February, so the likelihood of snow for me is disappearing with every new sunrise. Yesterday, we had horrible thunderstorms, and even tornado sightings, so the weather was quite unpredictable. I did not even leave the house. Still not feeling terribly well, and sometimes I just hate driving and being in such rainy weather. Sunday found me curled up on the couch with a book and the cats. The weather was so bad, I thought I would have to rely on the photo of the painting above my fireplace...(I love the reds and blues; it is a painting done by a young girl in Romainia. My oldest brother scored it off of EBay and gave it to me when he moved.)

I am off from work today, as it is a holiday. So, this morning, I ventured out into our yard to see precisely what damage we had from the storm, if any. I imagined that all traces of color would have been washed away with the torrents of rain that came through. However, I spotted these dainty pink blooms hanging on for their sweet smelling lives! Also, the rain made the moss between the stepping stones look a refrshing green color. The sight of these shades actually made my heart ready for the upcoming burst of glory that spring is here. It literally is right around the corner.

I hope your Monday is a lovely one. For more color, see Tracy and the gang.